Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"

Don Friesen & Ellis Levinson "Co-Headliners" Show #140

January 08, 2023 Scott Edwards Season 4 Episode 140
Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"
Don Friesen & Ellis Levinson "Co-Headliners" Show #140
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Show Notes Transcript

Hey we have a good standup comedy set show with two Headliners sharing the bill. First from the early 80's, the very funny Ellis Levinson and co-headlining from LA, terrific comic Don Friesen from one of his road shows....MC you hear early in Elli's set is Andy Roberts, house MC at the time. Enjoy!

Hosted by: R. Scott Edwards 

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Scott Edwards:

Hey, regular listeners to this podcast. Before we start this week's special show, I wanted to let you know on a new program. It's a subscription service that allows you access to all the early episodes, the first 100 shows, along with all the bonus shows, it'll be lots of fun. Seriously, it's just a way to help support the show and help me cover the cost of this entertainment format. I hope you're enjoying listening to it as much as I'm enjoying creating it. Of course, if you have any comments or questions, be sure to email me direct at Scotts comedy stuff@gmail.com Scott's comedy stuff@gmail.com. But in the meantime, if you enjoy a lot of the quality content interviews and stand up comedy sets, become a subscriber. And we'll make sure to have some extra fun stuff for you. All right, here comes this week show.

Announcer:

This is another episode of stand up comedy, your host and emcee celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC Scott Edwards.

Scott Edwards:

Hey, welcome. And before we get into this week's show, two quick notes. First off, you'll hear some references to smoking. And that's because back in the early 80s, smoking was still allowed in the nightclubs. It was a different time. But I wanted to give you that reference. And the first headline or when is recorded was quite soft. So just be prepared that the first of the two headliners is kind of quiet. And you may have to turn up your system, and then it'll get more normal for the second headliner. I apologize, but this was recorded early in the 80s. And we didn't have the technology. Okay, here's the show. Hi, and welcome to this week's show. We're doing a special two headliner edition today you're gonna hear two terrific headliners coming up later on, out of Los Angeles, a very funny guy that's performed at my club many, many times. You may recognize him from TV or as many concerts he's done around the country he is still performing today. The very funny Don freezin is in the house. And if that wasn't enough, we have another headliner ladies and gentlemen, opening things up again out of Los Angeles. He ended up making his career in television, but he started off as a road comic and back in the early 80s. When this was recorded, he was one of my regular headliners. So I know you enjoy him. Let's jump into some comedy. Our first headliner for today's show. ls Levinson.

Announcer:

On channel three, he's irregular on Wayland flowers madams place as well okay, now I'm listening to his fifth time here at laughs on me I know you're gonna enjoy his humor and his comedy put your hands together nice warm welcome for Mr. Ellis Levinson.

Ellis Levinson:

We telling a good crowd I love working in Sacramento This is very appreciative do we have people visiting from other parts of the country? No at all. So proud you know I'm from out of town and I always will be where are you from? What's what's great assignment here by the way, guys who prefer Ty's part of the body. Come on right inside of the thigh. You can't beat that. A lot of people that they sent me how can you like thighs better than breast? There's a reason for this reason that sooner or later a woman's breasts are down around the thighs anyway so over things sorry, I know a lot of drop dead. Sorry, I'm an asshole and I deserve to die. So a couple of gallons of enjoys what are you visiting in Sacramento. What are you doing here? In the United States Air Force, unfortunately and you've managed the whole book jobs I can't believe it. We love those bombs quicker to get home in some towns. What what do you do in the airport? What do you do an airport. I'm sorry. You work with crazy people and works alone.This guy is with me so no no no I'm only picking on you really so now so what what is your specialty there in the airport cleared a little more smoke please cancer is my heartwas gonna take off your smoke mirrors because you want to live three weeks longer than your friendsthe warning and the warning on the fact that somebody I mean the Surgeon General went through all of this trouble and I wish this thing I wish I felt that this thing had an effect on America did something like ever like one time in the history of the universe? Somebody has ever picked up a pack of cigarettes and said no, I think I'm gonna have me a smokingthere's a warning that the Surgeon General has determined that dangerous thank you so much actually want to see that right? No, no, no, no, no. No, I'm sorry. I'm being a pagan. Anyway. Well, I am sorry, I don't mean to be showbiz. I'm a liberal liberated Quranic. I'm open to what's the okay let's be honest. But this might be starting to look like through my landland I'll be honest withyou so what is your speciality in the airport and other sections operation so that you say this guy is not only want to talk about what he's doing with cows, because we have a special bathroom for that as you probably know by now. So what is your what is your specialty? That that's a nice healthy reference to these people. I work with crazy people. So what are you doing? You're like you're in a hospital. What would you call that? Orderly? You call it a hospital? That's good because I hate to call like a barbecue you know what I mean? Okay, well I guess it's all I gotta say. I worry I worry about things I'm I'm a worrier. New things come along. I wanted to feel the slow to adapt to him. I didn't want this one new invention came along late. I love this ladies. You got to admit this is great. The contraceptive sponge. The today's mind divert she's laughing already. So have you heard about this, uh, today's funded disposables, but I think it's great because now a couple can make look and do the dishes. I'm Rosie she's nine years old. I spill my coffee and she was wearing one of these. And I get that's okay, Rosie, I'll use a napkin Okay. Here's something that a lot of people want to lay so if anybody here has heard of this, would you please support me on this? I won't pick on and swear people don't want to believe this is true. There was a new health bed going around like a yoga helping coffee enemas. Has anybody heard of this? Right? You heard it is right. I'm not making this. It's real. What worries me about this? Oh, this catches on coffee enemas. What's gonna happen to coffee commercials? You know John never wants a second bag of my coffee this John said they're getting really ticked off. Especially don't use you man. Hey, calm down. John. What's up? You're asking worries me a lot. Maybe this is my humanistic side of something. But how does Stevie Wonder note that his friends aren't dressing them up to look like an idiot. He's got to trust these people. I mean, how does he know there isn't some guy who's working for him and thing and got down that doctor makes a million dollars$100 a week. I want to get him off the hook like Ronald McDonald worries me how far up his head this Telly Savalas washes face he can reach his hands before he quit what else worries me? What the hell and spam? Does anybody know what that something that can't actually is? I don't know what's in there. I mean, I'm telling you folks, there's no animal out there called spam. What do you say we kill it all spam and obviously the M part of the word spam ham. What I want to know what what the hell does is we're talking about spit and ham here. Don't know what body parts it is but if this is sperm and ham I don't want to know You know what else really bothers me? And I'll bet this bothers everybody in this room and I've been thinking about this for a while before the invention of the automobile Where do people go to pick their noses I'm telling you, you don't have any intersection in the United States of America. People sitting behind the wheel and vaping epidemic I mean, you're sitting in the red light tuning your radio and you want to see the windows rolled over the wife and kids watching TV on the car for 10 minutes okay. I don't know if you've heard about this it's getting so bad in New York City now that hanging from every traffic light is a little square sign a red circle and a sketch of a guy like this and a red line through it you know what else bothered me the other day not the other day as few months have gone by remember some months ago? They caught those Japanese suspects those those Japanese businessmen who stole the secrets from IBM these are guys who just came over from Japan and they arrested like 20 of these guys and you see all the way into the police station like this you know like covering up I don't think a way to me what are these guys doing that for dating some guy is going to be in Des Moines going Hey, isn't that yeah you know what else worries me? Horror movie Susan was talking about horror movies. What the heck ever happened to monsters in horror movies? They make these cheap horror movies now they're using monster they made like one good monster movie in the last year. Anybody see that thing? Was that a good movie? I love them. So skit. You know why it didn't move your business though. There's a reason from the title. It can't tell what this movie is about. The thing it sounds like it's about any topic at all. I know. It sounds like a Jewish horror movie to me. Can you tell me what caused all this destruction? Because I think what kind of thing was it? disgusting to me I named my column filled into that or it could be a black horror movie. Howard Cosell interviewing a black man, the sole survivor of this monster. Can you tell me what kind of possibly Cohen's the unbelievable apocalyptic devastation which I now see manifested be bombing oddly sticking out all over it's going out it was and had the biggest thing but I'm telling you no more monsters in the movies anything get you in these rooms? You don't know what to be afraid of? You come home you're in your own house all alone going. Anything can kill me now. Anyone can kill me now the furniture can kill me now. It's not like the more kids when we were kids we knew what to be afraid of Remember to go to a Saturday afternoon horror movie and probably looking monster came out of a flying saucer scared the hell out of you. You want all but even if you're like me, you know even as a kid that some horrible looking alien didn't get into so multibillion dollar flying saucer and some distant planet travel 100,000 light years across the earth land across the universe land on the planet earth just to climb into my bedroom to beat the shit out of me something that had to do with his expedition I'm sure when now you don't know what to be afraid of the advertising on TV gets you're so scared you're afraid to come out of the theater you'll see a nun Hello sister outcomes of x and a gotcha and with the ad the first ad for something that wasn't a monster but can really can you remember the ads for JAWS? Don't go in the water. I saw that movie with that woman got a bottom have bitten off right at the beginning I couldn't get up a goddamn swimming pool without protecting my crotch shots in here but I saw that movie and we were just holding on to this thing I'm scared guys you didn't admit it right yeah, you are us you are treading water like this come on. Guys have this fear you'll never be able to explain this to women in a million years. I'm telling you two bullets are coming directly like I want for his brain one first practical No. I got an injury once in Little League and I'll never forget it you know I thought I never breathing again. You know, it's the only way I could maybe explain it to women. It might be like having like triplets all at once. Anyway here's another way maybe I can explain this. The Officer and a Gentleman. Remember the scene at the end? God sits down Richard Gere tough macho Richard Gere is about to do away with legato loops and gossip leg comes up last year's crunch. That moment Richard Gere tough macho guy turns into Marcel Marceau it's not a sound you turn around in the theater you don't see one male face every guy is under his seat going we feel it and other guys you know. You see how a lot of guys will remember this having happened to another guy. The 1981 American League playoffs remember Kansas City the catcher behind all blade and you guys remember this and say I'm telling it because you know I mean everybody was watching this at home on TV 50,000 people on the stand you felt sorry for the guy not so much because of the injury but he heard those 50,000 people in the stands all at once go it's the pitch. Anyway, I saw Jaws I would not go into the water I really got scared about going in the oceans. I'll just lie on the sand and then they come out with blood beach don't go on the beach okay don't happen on the beach. I got a friend he's got a Sunday I'll go right up the block to his house and they came out with the last house on the left don't go up the street Okay, that's what they want. I'll just go right on into my front yard and get some sun nothing's gonna stop me and then again I was Halloween don't leave the house finding myself at a house here I've got no exercise now. I mean, if I run out of toilet paper the drinks are in trouble I'm locked in this any other pizza man? Well, maybe I'll just go up to the bedroom and then they came out with when a stranger called Don't go upstairs I've been finding myself that downstairs. I got no place. The kitchen and the bathroom. That's it. I go to the bathroom. You can't even go to the bathroom. They came out with an alligator and the sores. Don't sit on the toilet so here I am stuck in the kitchen and missing in the zip watching a beautiful eight inch black and white TV. You can't even watch TV anymore. They can I was poltergeists here but I feel unsafe. I'm not leaving the house. I'm doing everything they told me to do in those commercials and feeling okay, I'm in the kitchen and then they came out with the Amityville Horror. Get out of the house has anybody seen the scariest monster of all time the most horrifying beast in history. How many people here have ever seen the Richard Simmons show and this scares the crap out of me. It's like a nag with a television show. telling you what to eat what not to eat. It's like a mother got her own TV show. French women going it goes to our thigh. Right french fry this okay

Scott Edwards:

that was headliner Ellis Levinson from back in the early 80s. You may have heard one of my house emcees Andy Roberts from England opening up the show but Elvis was one of our regular headliners did a lot of stuff with the audience but had some funny material. And I hope you enjoyed that set. But coming up now our second headliner again out of Los Angeles he is still a working road comic does concerts all over the country been seen many times on television and dry bar comedy. Ladies and gentlemen, our next headliner here he is Don freezin.

Don Friesen:

A little early had to make some calls on my cell phone and even bother him and get that nationwide plan anywhere in the nation except where you're standing. What happens between here and here like you're trying to get off? What gets upset she's like Can't you call me from your car I cannot call you from my car I cannot call you from afar i cannot call you from a tree I cannot call you after three seconds talking in a kid I need a better calling plan. She said call me call me from the plane I cannot call you from the plane I cannot call you from a train that in the rain that in the fog that digital not analog. I can't Call your partner near They said my phone would work right here. I'm in the zone it's on the map I'm tired of this friggin crap called a cell phone yoga for two weeks you want to sell it 1003 wasn't all supposed to be working on him. Those films about the future as a kid it was always so promising wasn't the year 2000 They will have mastered his environment look at us now. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? You can hear me I can't hear you we can't poke through each other I don't have that plan. Let's talk louder and hope that somehow helps plan louder and slower. I have 800 Loud slow minutes clearly there's some problem with the towers here do we ever call a company it must not be their tower Well where are the tears we misplaced our towers to handle many towers and cell phones we'll worry about our heads we'll do it too because we're single chasing wars be the first one in line you get the power yeah got it right now. I don't even know it's there people are looking they're jealous make fun of people who don't have to check this guy out the paper whatever is practically Amish I said practically know what else to do you know because like I tried to tell fell into 1010 1010 10 Learn the code they change it. The celebrities are walking us to like John Lithgow The first one is like dial 10 321 Okay, no dial 1010 132321113211 And then one and then the number it's just that simple

Unknown:

the first three digits divided by seven roundup integer a factor was a 10 or 11 Double Down below showing a face cart hop on one foot former trapezoid for each independent calling area for my Latino Diego dolly to help us to know the muffin man

Don Friesen:

all this technology is supposed to help us to help us communicate better and we're getting dried instant messaging I am I am a very slow typer you don't type fast don't even bother your friends will roll over you there's no mercy and the I am horrible you know it sounds really biting it's got a cute little sound are you doing oh I am doing very sorry I gotta give you coffee what's going on? Well sin like seven questions there was like going to pick one and hope it still relates to conversation he's even alive by the time I get back to Vegas How's the family doing well I will be in Vegas you still there's nowhere to go you look at the screen with my hands to keep up all I hear is this can't be good. It sounds like I'm in Vegas. I know you're not still talking about what I'm talking about. I'm gonna finish that sentence if it kills me we're gonna voice instant messaging and talk to your computer turns your voice into text send it to their computer turns it back into a voice and I read through you're working on the next phase after that where they're gonna take out the text all together like the phone talking to my laptop waste my college degree right before your very eyes you can have it take over payments right now put it on eBay business degree like new hardly used. Delete, delete, delete never used business what a joke I learned to buy low sell high your textbook that cost me 60 bucks. Back for three I'll tell you guys are relating who's wasting their degree anyone else by class who's wasting what they went to school you were the quickest way to go to school for communication communications you had to no no What do you do now very well organized housing the chain of commands and credible let's go okay see you but you know what you want to be in college you got to pick a major and stick with it it's a gamble you know it's like a big poker game every semester they keep raising the tuition you ain't got nothing else going on see your lack of clear cut goals and I wish you the best years of my life as you're dropping out two weeks ago started a software company in Seattle just say computers everything's all high tech you guys know this man. You guys have embedded high tech out here. This is great. I just hooked up DSL you know the high speed internet because now my screen will freeze faster to wait two minutes and start over I tried to hook it up myself you know like an idiot my friends like hook up yourself it's easy to do it and everything's easy to know how to do it so I didn't so I spent all weekend tech support those guys hate me you know you're obviously not getting this at all do you not understand is there anyone else there we could just made my son home and the six he's reading his jargon like I'm supposed to well, your TCP IP and USB in the middle of pregnant Jagannatha What the hell are you talking about? I feel like a caveman trying to get me to reboot something I got two rocks I'm playing together trying to get a spark plug is angry still no fire who's your server? Who's Exactly? What's your browser base? Do you even know what you're talking about it before you call? Like 45 minutes I finally asked him how much is this costing me he said 250 minutes What are you wearing? He recommends his book The Complete Idiot's Guide to the internet remember, I'm an idiot so going into Barnes and Noble I'm looking all over for this book in the computer section. I can't find it anywhere so now I gotta go get help finding the Idiots Guide there's a whole section now that's just for idiots. Do you guys know this extraordinaire screw the rest of them all together where they can keep an eye on so you don't distract the regular customers with their special needs we got a lot of books about a lot of topics but everything you mean is right over here. Thanks for putting it all together. Because there's another section for Dummies now. Am I a dummy or a trick question is that oh the pug maybe onbuy I don't know. I think it's embarrassing. I tried taking it back you can say that you are who you are even in the ballpark Maybe with some tutoring you fill out that form reason for return too hard.Not enough picturesneed something stupid feel so bad in the Self Help section. There's any books there too. It's a real book the complete Idiot's Guide to enhancing your self esteem. book we're gonna possibly say, chapter one, put this book down. You're better than that

Scott Edwards:

that was Don freezin. One of my personal favorites, a very funny headliner. Well, that was our special to headliner comedy show, Ellis Levinson and Don freezin. I sure hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And we have more great shows coming up. Be sure to tell your family and friends and be sure to rate us on Apple if you get a chance. Thanks for listening to stand up comedy, your host and emcee. We'll see you next Sunday for another great show. Bye.

Announcer:

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Stand Up Comedy you're hosting them see. For information on the show merchandise and our sponsors, or to send comments to Scott. Visit our website at WWW dot standup your host and mc.com Look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand up comedy. Visit a comedy showroom near you