"Co-Headliners Special" Stars Greg Otto & Tom McTigue with Lynn Stobener as MC/Comic #73

Great show utilizing one of the tricks we did at the club, two Headliners sharing the Bill. On this Show, we have Lynn Stobener opening the show, and then Headliner Greg Otto has a short set, and closing another Headliner, Tom McTigue. Wonderful lineup of comedy. Some of the audio of Tom's set is weak; but the comedy is solid... Enjoy!

Transcript

Announcer: 0:04

This is another episode of stand up comedy, your host and emcee, celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business, stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC, Scott Edwards.

Scott Edwards: 0:22

Hi, we have a terrific lineup of stand up comedy for you today. Back when I ran the clubs, we used to do what's called a co headliner show on a pretty regular basis. And that's because we had so much terrific talent, that sometimes it just made sense to have two headliners on the show. And that's what's going to happen in this podcast. Before we get to that I wanted to just send a message out to my listeners, Hey, I've been doing this over a year. It's a effort of love. For me, I love stand up comedy, I love interacting with these old friends and reconnecting with people I haven't worked with and over 20 years, it's really been terrific. And I want to thank you because if there weren't listeners, there'd be no point in doing it. So much appreciated. But it didn't want to say that. I hope that you're finding an entertaining, there's nothing too political or opinionated or dramatic about any of these. It's just supposed to be fun. Hopefully it makes you laugh, maybe gives you a story or a joke to share with your family and friends. And again, it's just entertainment. And I hope that that's how it's coming across. But I'd love to have some input from you. So feel free to contact me through the website www stand up comedy, your hosting mc.com. Send me a message if there's more ideas, or comics you want to hear from, if you like the interview segments do like the comedy segments. What do you think of the new bonus shows I've been adding, where comics are giving material that they're working on now versus 20 years ago. So these are all things that I'd like to be able to interact with my listening audience to make it a more enjoyable podcast for you. I hope that's not too much to ask. Anyway, let's get back to some pure entertainment. I'm really excited about this week show. As I mentioned, I'm putting two headliners on this show and a great opening act. Closing the show out of Texas one of the best headliners we ever had at the club. You may remember him as one of the stars of Baywatch back in the day, very funny comic Tom McTigue will be closing the show. Now his set was recorded kind of softly, so be sure to listen. And coming up. In the second spot is our other headliner. This guy is clean. He's funny, he's been on earlier podcast, he's done cruises and clubs all over the world was a regular headliner of the club, the comedy of Greg Otto, and just a few minutes a nice short set from him. But right now let's jump off this CO headlining show with a terrific opening act. You've heard her before not only as a stand up comic, but also as a co host. She is a longtime friend, family member, really? That has worked with me since the very first day. I opened my clubs. That's right, it's Lynn Stoneburner. And what a lot of people don't realize is she's just a really funny gal. And not only was she an employee, and ended up being an emcee at my clubs, but she developed into an actual terrific comic and open for a lot of shows at my clubs but also toured a little bit and we're gonna hear her do a very funny set. So ladies and gentlemen, let's jump into it with our first act. Lynn Stobener.

Lynn Stobener: 3:47

Briefing him for list opener Friday night the party nine Citrus Heights Are we ready to party? Yeah, that's pretty good. Let's get it. Let's get it going on cat three living here. Let's party from everyone. Okay, count three ready 123 This is fine, kind of a kind of a good looking crowd, which is very, very nice to see. Because last night a bunch of people showed up and it was too soft. So is anybody here last night? Last night they raised their hands. It was very scary, but they were often stopped and that's why and I'm kidding. Do you guys actually know that Stockton is a very very old Spanish word that means nice town surrounded by shitload of cows. Trivia trivia for you. Anyway, I'm in a pretty good good finally got cable TV in my apartment today, which was quite exciting. And I was watching MTV and I saw are we MTV fans? Oh no. What are we ah when people say Go to one is owned by MTV so there you go we're all one big happy family somehow we're related. Anyway I finally saw Michael Jackson's video Dirty Diana Have you seen this one? There's one more it takes off for sure what a bond huh see the bond like that so it's Bobby Brady took off his shirt to go into the dunk tank scary how well we can relate to like the Brady Bunch and the Partridge Family too you know I can't even watch la law because this season there is no one episode she's gonna go up to the podium and go ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I think I love you to do anyway this is the guys aren't good looking crowd lots of couples let me take a little survey here how many men by round applause are paying for the expenses on the date tonight it's always like that it's some sort of law. I think God said men get the bills women get periods I am Ladies, don't you love it when your boyfriend comes up to you goes Oh, honey, I got a cramp in my footyou can just go Suffer Bitch ladies call me weak. Okay. Some wait you're retaining a little bit too much water. Yeah. Last night after the show, we went out dancing on these dance clubs, like two o'clock in the morning because all the guys you know get all nervous. They're alone. So they become like George Michaels you know? He's come up to you. I want your sex or what's your love? I just love to turn to him and go I'd love to be your assaulted which turns out that crowd nicely. Let me tell you how many women love to shop for clothes? That's our sport. I love accent I love getting clothes. But I hate shopping because I go to the stores and I see the clothes on the mannequins and they look great and I put them on and I look like Rhoda Morgenstern but I figured out why that pull up the rear action going to put a ball My hands are falling by the store pretty and plump the other day Have you seen this? We've got some sculpting man. You're shopping around Macy's and the lady came up to you and goes well you know you're pretty but your blood whacker because you know the kind of advertising that you're going to be carrying for this place pretty soon match. Where do you get that lovely outfit? Well, I was shopping down at the pretty end deform store. Find anything there so I got to know Wagner's biggest beast like what do you think you don't store is really pretty pretty dumb lately. The supermarkets the biller by my apartment complex has seatbelts in the shopping carts for the kids apparently there's some problem with some deranged mothers just taking those corners a little too sharp kind of drag race and I guess I don't know. Next thing you know they have to have like little airbags in the shopping carts. God forbid there's any of those Pinto cart cases shopping around robbed me that flames on aisle nine pretty darn scary. Sacramento what a place I love this town. It's a goofy town it's like do I go bowling or do I bury people in my front yard? I am only Dorsey ahead bowling shoes this would be a better town. And it's I'm reading today some fascinating stuff in the Sacramento Bee. First off, you guys remember Cathy Rigby? gymnasts turn feminine hygiene kind of woman. Honestly, grassroots you guys know what she's doing for a living. She's a Vegas lounge singer. What she's saying. It's like stay free. Now that Maxis back into I guess. Another article I read was about our new jail downtown. I don't know if you've seen this. It's very nice. I might actually do some time there. It's very nice. And apparently before they put the convicts and they're having a fundraiser where you can actually have your friend arrested for a fee and the money goes to a charity. And apparently for 50 bucks extra you can actually have the gang raped and tattoo The last article that I read was about that guy named Walter Hudson, who weighed 1200 pounds. And he's now down to 800. He looks good. He does I feel sorry for him but how does one get to weigh more than 1000 pounds? I mean, you figure on 650 You'd be going let myself go they say he got heavy because his girlfriend kept feeding him. So I found it very hard to believe that he actually had a girlfriend. God forbid they're in bed one night also you hear I love it was a real sick but have you ever thought of your parents in a romantic interlude? That must have happened I actually I mentioned this because one night as a kid I actually walked into my parents one night and I had no idea what they were doing. But years later I remember thinking back how nice my dad looked in high heels and a leather miniskirt I had a real bad dream last night I had a nightmare that I became a state worker and I woke up and I was wearing a dress with tennis shoes it was a State worker Joe has coming to work tonight and I was coming off greenback free one on the greenback and the guy was very nice. He let me over and for a moment I wish I had a button that would you know kind of like a blinker that said thank you very much. Of course most of the time I just want that button I would say Why the hell do you cut me off You asshole pretty happy person even though a couple things have been ticking me off lately. Do you guys get mad? Does it bother you that the toilet paper companies find it necessary to glue the first 75 sheets of the world together got a floor full of Charmin shrapnel It pisses me no nothing I hate his driving when I'm tired because I can't keep myself awake. I do the thing they say turn up the radio real loud Slap yourself on the face and then roll down the window and start doing this thing out of it we all do this anyway I can't see myself like I just start to run out of things no problem just quiet bras. Wearing reflective color no problem you guys honest to God truth. The other night. I actually for the first time in my life. I hit a cat. It was terrible. And I fell in love though, because I saw it move. And I call the SPCA and they said someone took it to the vet. But they got the cat wanted to die it's Sani in the lunged at the body under my front tire. And I have a Mitsubishi Colt so he almost rolled me okay. I mean like flexed up and I wish I would have been an hour I would have been dead man. What else? Oh, I know. I hate when you go to the movies and the guy next to stop talking so you have to stab them. Oh man. bugs me. Best thing to do if you're ever bummed out is to play practical jokes though. There's a couple of good ones. It's a milkshakes and some chocolate doughnuts and go in front of those J Craig weight loss centers. Wait for him to come out. Or next time right before you go into your dentist's office. Eat a bunch of Oreos. Just go look doc, they're all filled.

Scott Edwards: 13:52

Still take the Gasp that was my girl Lynn man. I love that young lady. I've known her since she was about six years old. And she was my first employee. She was a co emcee at my clubs and turned into a terrific entertaining young comic. And it's just a pleasure to be able to share some of her material with you. I hope you enjoyed that. That was Lin Stoneburner. Now we have two headliners coming up next. Right now is our first headliners. I mentioned very clean and funny comic where cruise ships been on TV was a regular at the club. You've heard him before on the podcast. Let's listen to the comedy of Greg Otto.

Greg Otto: 14:34

He's always there they're gonna hop in the shower. I'm gonna hop in the shower. Never hop anywhere else yeah yeah, I'm gonna hop in this IRS audit people say a lot of dumb things money can't buy happiness is of course a myth perpetuated. I want people to give them reasons for living kind of like that other one looks aren't that important you will uglies now let's crack that to be there hope I didn't offend any poor ugly IRS agents that might be in the crowd I'm not looking for trouble you're gonna Supercuts from these kinky hair cutting places. You walk in was the first thing they say to you. How many help you with a haircutting place you have like some firewood car is making a funny noise come check it out we'll bring the blow dryer there could be trouble when you leave they have the nerve to say Have a nice day. Have a nice day you just screwed up my month What are you talking about? When I stay in June when this goes out I will see you in court I'll be the guy went ahead you hurt my feelings was at the mall the other day do a little shopping with it's expensive men's stores up here men's shoes on sale for$185 for a pair of shoes you know you see a great buy like this and you got to stop and think to yourself Do I really want to pay $485 for a pair of shoes or I want to get a paid lesson by 485 pairs of shoes I bought a pair of shoes it was like this little deodorant thing and one of the shoes it says throw away do not eat well you know me I'll eat pretty much anything I find an issue or some getting in their boots on tennis that time those are yummy and fat free. Your nose everything fat free is also delicious free you're going to the store at the mall with the sharper image with the seller goofy expensive gadgets and stuff. Has anyone ever actually bought a thing in this place? No. You just go when you mess around with stuff something breaks you late right they sell an underwater pin at the sharper image. Okay, nobody wait for somebody invent underwater paper who you're writing to underwater? That's so important. Oh, I'm drowning. It's like yeah, right.bought a shirt. It's got this label it says wash separately. And like that's gonna happen. guys never wash anything separately right? I wash the white soap shirt along with a sleeping bag and some ice skatesI've got so much stuff crammed in the washer. There's like a cup of water in the hole washer.Sounds coming out it's already drythen the label says never needs ironing. Yeah never needs ironing if you don't mind looking like a wine Ohusing some detergent the label says harmful or fatal if swallowed. Well which is itI need to make some plans. My gonna die or feel bad for a few days.Do I pay next month's rent some stupid labels on things I just label and Tylenol says you shouldn't take Tylenol if you have more than three alcoholic drinks a day. And that's why I'm taking Tylenol. You guys been called? That's my time. Thanks so much. I'm Greg.

Scott Edwards: 19:03

Greg always has great material that's so easy to take in and relate to. Very funny guy. I know you enjoyed that. And now it's time for our second headliner in our special co headlining show, ladies and gentlemen, this guy's been all over TV and movies we talked about it was irregular and Baywatch. He's done 1000s of TV commercials. Been on lots of TV shows, and comedy clubs all over the country. He's now out of Texas. You've heard him before on the show. I know you'll enjoy him again. As I mentioned earlier, this is kind of a softer recording. Hopefully you'll be able to hear it okay, but he's just so dang funny. Ladies and gentlemen. It's the comedy of Tom McTigue.

Tom McTigue: 19:47

Don't look for me. Don't look for me in the water. I'll get in the ocean. A couple of reasons. One every time I swim at the beach, I'm amazed at all the parts of my body and I can find I keep forgetting to have nooks and cranny want to go for a refreshing in the syrup and come out crunchy it's not just a guy thing either women love teeny tiny bikini big old swinging Maga sand sexing I've tried something new now and this this got me kind of excited Instead of rinsing it off I'm just gonna leave it there and I'm trying to make pearls uncomfortable but if you look at the bright side everybody's gonna get a free cool Christmas gift this year I think we can all agree your mom just appreciates the gift that much more you know when when you make it yourself oh my god Tommy girl out there with the other reason the other reason I don't swim in the ocean is I'm deathly afraid of get attacked by sharp man It freaks me out I live in California that used to happen all the time it would whatever happened would be all over the news you know they're interviewing all these shark experts of course trying to placate everybody's fears one time I heard this guy gets on the news he goes oh yeah you're you're more likely to get hit by a bus and goodbye sharp but great. Now I got to worry about pigs I didn't even know we like to swim if you're attacked by a shark you get shark bit bragging rights somebody goes on you get started go okay, well swimming out there you're threatening maybe you're a great white shark on the right they're not pushing like three times right now I'm on I went shopping and he took off and I'm okay whateverSharkBite you'regonna tell somebody you get paidRicky what happened?Okayare swimmingyou're not going to believe this.Bye. I am swearing and all of a sudden a practice pig that gigantic CP seen him coming towards me it curly tail just cracking through the whitecaps you knowtrying to swim in them. Women in their lives maturingfast little pig man he was gaining on because I heard him justmortified.Like I see now that movie jowlswere appreciate you laughing too. Thanks. Appreciate that. I've been doing comedy for a long time and I'll tell you what it is works better. When peoplefeel free to NOT LAUGH don't don't laugh if you don't think it's funny. Don't laugh. I don't you know, because when you laugh, you're my barometer. And then I think whatever it is that I've said is funny. And I'm not kidding. I'll tell it again.I tell the same stupid joke to a different crowd someplace else and they'll just sit there like bumps on lawn so we'll have to go folks on a bridge or set me outI have a great job. The downside to this job is I travel and I'm a single parent got a daughter? She's 16 now so I don't necessarily have allthat just so tedious.I don't think I'll ever have another child I really don't and I might have a boy child if somebody said I can guarantee you it'll be a boy child I might go well okay maybe.But I do not have it in me to raise another girl channel because they are scary.They were like real women but they're littlerjust full of crazymaybe it was a son you know a son gets all up in your face and just go heydo old man No.My girl What do you do?Here some more money.is driving me nutI will never anywhere but there's no words to tell your kids how much you love them you know and doesn't stop us parents will try and years ago I was having to leave on a trip and a journal I don't know how I thought you know like a sweet talker and I got I gotta go away on a trip and just know the law of God you're in my thoughts and my prayers and my heart always and I love you more than life itself and I really felt like I was connecting to Reno I was really quiet the covenant pulled up tight she's looking back maybe you think eautiful blue eyes are hers and after a moment she goes dad I said yeah, she goeswhen I get older am I going to have a lot of black hair and my nose topretend that like it didn't bother me I go You mean like your mom kind ofsaw as a problem for us myself checked up I'm fine I had my physical my big new life man the physical and not a lot of fun going on there for the big men black man physical women seem to get a lot of delight out I mean talking aboutstuff but I think too young and you guys don't know what it's like a treasure hunt Pirates of the Caribbean kind of thing. But I was really nervous about it. I could see it on my horizon from the time I was about 30 And I didn't go into the whole camera crew thing first first you have to you have to go and just have a preliminary checkup before they run the whole camera realize everything else up there and I saw very nervous about it. I go into the doctor's office and I'm real nervous. He was very professional. He goes Tom just relax. This will be over before you know it. Hold on to the edge of the table there and just make the big monkey noises like what I didn't I didn't even know I could make a big monkey noise apparently though, I was pretty good at it because they gave me a soccer which I teased me about that. So here's the real story. So I'm in there. I'm getting ready to have everything checked out. I hear the doctor behind me and he goes gotten up with my finger in your butt I was like Wow, is that a heck of a coincidence? Because I knew that my show and I found myself goingthat's not true. Here's the truth God I'm tired of lying to you. I never should have startedhere's the truth I need to get ready to have everything checked out. Right here the doctor behind me and I'm not making this up. I swear to you. I hear the doctor behind me guys.Crows I mean that is wrong on so many different levels. You know, here I am in a strange doctor's office you know feeling vulnerable. My pants are coming around my ankles he's got the glove on so I can read a grease up and go for it. I just thought wow, that's so bad bedside manner warn them about the pearls

Scott Edwards: 28:28

Oh, that was a great set by Tom McTigue. I hope you enjoyed that. Man. What a great opportunity to bring you a one of our usual co headliner shows. So I hope you enjoy the opening act Lynn Stoneburner our first headliner, Greg Otto, and our closing headliner Tom McTigue. It's been a pleasure bringing you Comedy Week after week. Please tell your friends share it, rate it review whatever you can do to help build this up. Let's make it into a good size audience. Thanks again for listening. Stay tuned for special bonus comedy shows. And we'll see you next week. Bye.

Announcer: 29:05

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Stand Up Comedy your host and MC. For information on the show merchandise and our sponsors or to send comments to Scott. Visit our website at WWW dot stand up your host and mc.com Look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand up comedy. Visit a comedy show room near you