"Two Funny Guys" Tim Jones/BobSaget Show #41

This is a fun one, first I share some of the money involved on the business side of comedy (not fun/but interesting?) and then we go straight into hilarious comedy stes by two of the Best...Tim Jones, originally from New York, and Bob Saget of TV fame. Bob does a solid set and plays guitar as well...very funny!

Transcript

Announcer: 0:04

This is another episode of stand up comedy, your host and emcee, celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business, stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC. Scott Edwards.

Scott Edwards: 0:21

Hi, and welcome to this week's show. We have a good one for you today. Later on in the show, we are featuring two very funny guys, the name of the episode. Two funny guys, later in the show and closing the show don't miss out from 1990 a very funny set from Bob Saget. You all know who he is. He is from Full House, America's Funniest videos been around and television and comedy for decades. We're back in 1994, I got a chance to record them live on stage at laughs unlimited. And we have a few minutes of that set. I know you'll enjoy and then opening up the show in just a few minutes. Very funny comic out of Los Angeles. Tim Jones worked for us a lot. And this was taped in 1983. And he was a very funny guy. And I'll explain more before we get to a set. But first I wanted to talk about comedy as a business. And this is more an opportunity to name drop and share some interesting information that I hope you the podcast listener finds interesting. Not so much funny. Just different and interesting. So anyway, we've talked about the staff of the club, we've talked about the comics. We've talked a lot about the entertainment aspects, the art aspects of stand up comedy, but it's also a business. And I thought I would share some information that it was able to pick out of my old booking books that may or may not be interesting, but here it goes. Going back to 1984. Dennis Miller, who you've all heard of, he said his own TV show been around for a long time, work for me as a co headliner and made$600 for a week's work. Now keep in mind in the comedy club business, a week's work back in those days was Tuesday through Sunday, two shows on Friday and Saturday. And then later in the 90s. It trimmed down to a Thursday through Sunday setup. But back in 1984, we had Dennis Miller on stage sharing the headlining spot when it was a co headliner for $600. In 1985, Tom McTigue who you may remember was a regular on Baywatch and other TV shows, done lots of television commercials was also a featured act. That's the middle position in work for just$300 for the whole week. We also had Dave cool, yay, who you know from Full House and a lot of voice work on cartoons. Now he was already a bit of a celebrity. So in 1987, I paid him $2,600 For a week's work. I thought that was kind of interesting. He's a huge star and a multimillionaire now, but back then that was a lot of money for my club. In 1989, I had another comic who was an opening act, you may recognize his name, boom guy Oh, below them. He is from Northern California. He's a marijuana activists. He was the host of cannabis planet a TV show. In back in 1989. He was my opening act and made $175 for a whole week's work. Yes, these guys weren't making a lot of money. But that's how we got the club going. Another interesting headliner Kevin Pollak, I'm sure you'd recognize his face if not his name. He was in movies like A Few Good Men, Wayne's World, the usual suspects, and one of my favorites, the whole nine yards. But Kevin Pollak was a terrific stand up comic and impressionist, and he worked for me in 1987 for $2,300 for a week's work. Another very recognizable guy, Jeff Altman, who made 45 appearances on The Letterman Show was already somewhat of a celebrity in the late 80s, and 90s. worked for me in 1989. He made $4,000 for a week's work. So he did pretty well. And that was a lot of money from us. But when he was doing all those Letterman spots, we occasionally laughs unlimited. were mentioned by David on the show. So I was always exciting. In 1989, we had another celebrity at the time, will Shriner, I know you recognize that name? He's an actor and a director. He made$12,500 for weeks work. Wow. Hard to believe I could afford And that's 1989 dollars. So that was a lot for a week. But he was that. a big celebrity and packed out the club every night he was there. Another great comic who sadly passed away, Bill Hicks was a kind of a dark, hard smoking hard drinking comedian who was out of Texas. He was really unique and a great guy to work with. I paid him $2,500 For a week's work and 1990 Speaking of bizarre and strange comedy acts, have you heard of EMO Phillips, he was a huge hit in the 80s and 90s. And it was very popular as a unique comic. And he made $5,000 for a week's work back in 1990. And then one last mention, I've mentioned in an earlier podcast, and we featured him in our anniversary 40th anniversary podcast show. But our very first headliner back in 1980, was George Wallace. And he made $2,000 for short week's work back in 1980. By the way, he's considered the godfather of comedy, and kind of the King of Vegas, where he had a show for over two decades. But back in 1990, we brought him in as the 10th anniversary headliner. And he made $7,500 for two nights work. He did do two shows each night. But that's not bad money for two nights work. So anyway, ladies and gentlemen, I thought I'd just share how comedy not only is an art form, very entertaining, and hopefully always funny to my listeners, but it is a business and I was operating a nightclub slash restaurant that serve food and drinks and brought in entertainers to bring in the crowds. And you can see in some cases, there was some huge investments made to ensure that the crowds kept coming and had a good time. So I hope you found that interesting, and not so much that the money they made or didn't make, but how the business end of it worked and how if you were a popular star with a lot of TV or movie credits, you can really make some good money. And on this show to funny guys, we're going to open things up with our first headliner, one of my favorites from the 80s and early 90s Tim Jones very funny comic he was a regular all of my clubs. He started off doing stand up comedy in New York ended up coming out to LA he did do some television and when was one of our favorite returning acts, and you might have seen him as a regular on the TV show Fresh Prince of LA. Now sadly, Tim passed away in 2018 of ALS but he was a really terrific comic and a really good friend and I know you enjoy his set ladies and gentlemen the comedy of Tim Jones

Tim Jones: 7:46

Oh come on and shake it come on so makemore people here than I thought I only brought one joint is not gonna make it this guy sitting here is gone I mean there's not right at the top here cuz I noticed everybody's kind of looking at me I know I look black but I'm not I'm not shy, okay all right. Like I just got confused chromosomes. Black, white, black, and I should get one of those Quasar color TV commercial. Standard say hi. My hair is blonde. My skin is fair. And my lips are thin Did you see anything other than that on your screen? Time to get a new set see the people in Indiana So yeah the revenue is no I am black but I'm unarmed okay smoke you look like to me I mean I'm even bilingual you know I can speak Black English I can say hey what's happening I can say hi how you doing? Come on let's go get some tuna casserole come on but the point is we're all people we're all people saying things piss us off my car kisses me off how come every time I get some extra money my car knows new clothes a tennis racket the car goes I want to go to the doctor I walk in experiences we all get pimples you know all the people to the wrong time go on a date got to go to a meeting people want to go to never someplace where you can hide him you know right between your eyes you meet people and they say hi how you doing? Who's your friend you have an invitation you ever sit at home late at night watching television all by yourself then on the corner of your eye you know you're alone the little voice in your hands the curtain moves in the level of pissed off that's what I got right into the kitchen get a big glass of milk some cookies and a butcher knife to get you talking trash who's ever in here I got a butcher knife out of the darkness you hear I got a 38 Crazy friend's house and use the bathroom people have friends let's start with our friends let's use the bathroom and suddenly find out oh no toilet paper you start wondering about towels and curtains I don't know the big brouhaha going on in the burger world. Apparently the Burger King was caught nibbling Reynolds with nuggets on they asked him why he said well Wendy wasn't as hot and juicy as she said she of you are laughing some you're staring like you're at home watching television because I'm from New York City. I'm from New York where it's where it's happening. Do you see cats on the streets on New York? Have you really? Brooklyn where he is 29th Street guys to steal and pillage a lot. Yeah, TV working fine. I need to get that remote control at home kept me on the street trying to say something you know yo Brother Yo, man. Yeah, this is your lucky day. Got 10 pound bags Colombians in combat don't have in the glass it's a it's like liquid Tylenol that means something I'm not sure let me feel good partners and partners watching the squirrels squirrels tripped me out because they just space out they just sit there and they look like and think things like wow, I wish I had a car go shopping. Anytime you try to catch a squirrel, first thing to do is look for a tree. You know, it's like, I look at you and say, Don't waste my time. You better be Dr. J right now. The New York you know the nuts Oh, you seem on the streets just rockin for no reason just bouncing back and forth. And then you kind of talk to me like what's your name but my name you look in his eyes, you see a sign that says vacancy. One bedroom unfurnished. And then you see him sitting on the curb talking to a Chrysler, you know what? I'm from Detroit.

Scott Edwards: 17:15

Well, that was a little stand up comedy from Tim Jones live on stage at laughs unlimited in the 1983. So went back a few years for that. But you can see he was a really funny guy. And we were really sad to hear of his passing. But we hope you enjoyed the comedy. And it got you into the right mood for this next entertainer. I gotta tell you laughs unlimited was a struggle to get going. But it only survived and really succeeded because of good comedy friends. Like this next gentleman, Bob Saget. Bob was not only a terrific headliner already at the time, but he took the time to sit down with me and help me map out the operations of the club so that it would succeed. He also introduced me to many famous and not so famous entertainers that were really good stand up comics, and I was able to bring into the club and help build its reputation. Now you guys all know Bob Saget. He was in full house. He was also the host of America's Funniest videos when it first started. And recently, he's the star of Fuller House. But you know him is just a famous stand up comic. He also was in the movie, The Aristocats, which is really funny because it was a movie about this one joke. And it was a series of comics trying to see who could make it the filthiest joke, and Bob Saget one that. And if you watch the movie, you'll see why. Very, very funny guy. But as I mentioned, a very good friend of the club. In fact, in 1980, when I was just getting started, he worked with me and starred in a couple of TV commercials, that we were able to air and help promote the club in 1980 1981. So we were really lucky to have made friends with Mr. Saget. Besides all that, he is a terrific comic. If you didn't know you're going to hear right now. And if you do know you're going to enjoy this set. Now this is taped live on stage in 1990. So you can see that Bob worked for me off and on for over 15 years, where he worked with Dave Kuya, and one of my special New Year's shows. So ladies and gentlemen, sit back and enjoy the stand up comedy from 1990 Bob Saget.

Bob Saget: 19:30

I'm just glad we're alive and we have our health that's all it matters. There's no earthquakes you get scared of a quake in the great Californians are like they don't care. It's like oh look the grounds opening up my house, my wife and kids. My car oh, we're gonna get the word. Those words alright. I'm scared there's gonna be like a major quake and I'll be getting a vasectomy at the time. You know something was a 7.3 and a 4.1 7.3. Thank you comedians can embellish. I can embellish that right. I think again, I think that that was the stupidest thing I have is earthquake insurance, and it's based in California company is based in California. Or here's your policy or this role. Here's your agent Barney. Barney Rubble thank you and I have a thing in my in my deed of sale called an easement at my home which means I think the phone company can party at my pool whatever they want. I'm happy I own a home and in our shows can be back on the air which is nice. And everybody's twins babies twins. I'm twins Dave's twins there's another Bob backstage and he's like I say true story. Your break? What the hell is that sound? What does that sound it's either slurping have a drink or there's some gastrointestinal problems. Who was that? This woman she's literally embarrassed to death right now. She said she she turns her head the other way she can make her date so damn happy. Why don't you just pick your head out? Oh my god. What's happening here? She's literally crying with her head stuck on the end of the table. I've never seen this have a bigger head up. You're gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine. Just breathe deep. It's the most common they talked me through this. Come on. You were to slip in the end of a drink and I don't think I've ever heard anything out loud in my life are you okay? I'm so sorry. You're gonna have to do hard tonight if more comes out of your nose because we don't have it here. There's no milk you I don't know when you get it. Oh, it is coming in her nose. I'm sorry. No, it's really gross. They put this over here. Just work. Is there a battery in it? Yeah, you okay? She's crying and weeping. I mean what we'll do that in a long time. Man I'm so damn happy. What are you gonna do now let's strip naked the screen what do you do a cartwheel far be apart. We like a lot of creativity at work right here. Oh, man, I'm gonna go home. My daughter's gonna do some weird. Oh, we got work because we're traveling. We got this baby intercom. You know what this is? There's two sides. Oh, the funny. We got two things. We got baby mobile. That's voice activated. Somebody gave us this as a gift. Which means you put it in the crib and the baby cries or makes any good sound or birth order? You know guess it'll trigger music. And I think this is kind of weird. What if she's like the audition? And she's like 30 years old concert and thinks that's how you start the band. Thanks. What's the funniest thing is that maybe if you have one of these many they're cool because you can put one part of it they're cool like really happen in the crib and the other part you're like in another room and you're slicing and dicing with your bed dramatic or something or play with a microphone or laminating your but I was told to do that. I don't know. But I'm overdose like I'm out attitude right? Not just some annoying me. Hate to hate on not just people but I like them because now I am their leader. So part of the baby that comes in the crib and the other part is like anywhere you want to be so you're like in the den and you hear one nine data got spit up on my shirt and I'm packing the load please come in she's got her dolls up against the side of the Crips is first gonna get the best thing that ever happened to us. We're gonna have hundreds of kids. I want an audience walking around me all day long. Gundy just to put pressure on it. shave his head making blue ball that might be my best friend. Because most of my head a friend he just jumped out of his head. It was a true story. No, do something real special. Now I like to just throw the guitar around the neck party or something else. I have an aircraft. That sounds kind of gross. But I don't want to offend anybody. I won't do it if I offend anyone. Tell me how offend you. I won't do it. Okay, but of course we really did. I noticed it was women that actually asked me to do it tonight don't listen, it's an Eric Clapton song and you know 70 chords and I know seven and here's my rule. Don't listen to thisseries. And lays on the bed. Forgive me. I'm serious. And then I go in the bathroom. I'm real sorry. She gives me a very sorry. And then I asked her all right oh, I know I'll keep going the Sixth Doctor came in it's really happened six I came in and I said you know that fifth doctor was kind of weird he said he's not a doctor Phil's a cigarette machine but it was really a horrible experience Demerol for four days sell it Are you a travel agent? How long have you on what's your name? Nice to meet you Julie. How long do Demerol remember so we're spending four weeks basically was time and was it it was weird wasn't it? What was the occasion? Whoa, yours or someone else's? For me when I get to the bottom I go back. So it was it was are you okay? You find now they just failed another fun two hours wouldn't you just say no Julie just saying it's really good just say no no, I'm sorry we're communicating let's get to Dixie cups in a string and talk all night. Well, you're lucky that you're okay. Did both of them go or just one other woman lied to me wow, I can't believe that you lied. Are you a lawyer? Holy shit. Yeah, I can't believe you really are. I'm gonna go through my briefs and handle my subpoena. Hey God next year, you're gonna be one you're gonna sit here and not your book. I really don't like to say that. I missed you both and I hope you have a good I'd like to give you both potholder just turn it off. I'm too happy to be alive. Go ahead. you know... thank you for flying TWA. Your drinks can be used as a flotation device. The next 60 seconds in case there's any problems honey roasted peanuts will shoot into my nose and go right through the windows. Don't use the lavatories we never cleaned them and mudroom or auto fun cuz you can get on your knees and use the shoe buffer is a lot of fun. This is this is something I like to do right now. This is a this was one of my favorite songs. This was a Harry Chapin song and it was all my favorite people and this takes place in a taxicab in San Francisco. Just think about that just taxicab San Francisco Here we go. It was raining hard in Frisco one last night. butthead waved the flag she got it set away you gone too late to shame you rolling see this blue window and she said 16 Parkside lane so we're about her was swell I'd seen her face before. She said I'm sure you have a stake in turnaround so didn't say anything more glanced at the license for my name she said how are you Bobby just got back from Sweden had an operation I guess they should change my voice to now My name is Sue, But i still remember Lou

Scott Edwards: 30:24

that was Bob Saget, a terrific comic and friend who helped laughs on limited gig going back from the early 80s. And still working for me here in 1990 for the recording you just heard, and just a terrific guy in a very funny comic. I know you enjoyed that. Thanks for listening to this week's shows to funny guys, Tim Jones and Bob Saget. We'll be back next week with another entertaining podcast for you so be sure to listen and share. Thanks. Bye.

Announcer: 30:57

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Stand Up Comedy your hosting MC. For information on the show merchandise and our sponsors, or to send comments to Scott. Visit our website at WWW dot stand up your host and emcee.com Look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand up comedy. Visit a comedy show room near you