Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"

Brian Diamond Standup Comedy Interview of Comic/Actor Show #135

November 20, 2022 Scott Edwards Season 3 Episode 135
Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"
Brian Diamond Standup Comedy Interview of Comic/Actor Show #135
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Show Notes Transcript

Brian Diamond started right here is Sacramento as an open-Mic entertainer, and that led to a nice comedy career of over 20 years. He had a chance to perform in all 50 States and overseas for our Military. He ended up in Los Angeles in the mid-2000's where he did some TV and became an Actor. After all that wonderful experience, he hung up his comedy/acting shoes and now is back in Sacramento, retired and enjoying Life. Fun interview...Enjoy!

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Announcer:

This is another episode of stand up comedy, your host and emcee, celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC. Scott Edwards.

Scott Edwards:

Hey, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the podcast, I have a something exciting, a young man that is actually from right here in Northern California, Sacramento, my hometown, who got his start doing open mics in the Sacramento area and working at my club, but went on to fame and fortune doing comedy for almost 20 years. So I'm happy to have him on the show. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Brian diamond. Brian, Wow, it's so great to connect after all these years. Thank you. Thank you. That's enough of the audience. Great to have you. Back connected, we work together back in the late 80s and early 90s. And then you you went off and kind of had an adventure in comedy. And that ended up driving you to LA for some acting work. You really had a pretty interesting career, but we're gonna get to that. But just first off, welcome to the show.

Brian Diamond:

Thank you for having me. And you know what, and thank you for introducing me as a young man, because you may be the only one who thinks

Scott Edwards:

well, to me, everybody's Young. No, but it's just great to one of the reasons I do this podcast is it gets a chance to reconnect, but I'm extra excited because very few there's been some famous people that came out of my club that started there, Colorado's Rocky, Karen Anderson, Brian post saying that really cut their teeth at laughs unlimited, and are basically celebrities in at least in their own minds. You were one of those acts that started off as an open mic er, and after a few years working at my clubs, went on to an actual career in show business, and I want to get to that. But let's give everybody a little bit of background. Brian diamond, you had an interest in acting, but you started off in stand up. What kind of gave you that nudge to get on stage the first time.

Brian Diamond:

You know, I wanted to do it. There was just never a place to do it. You know, here in Sacramento. I mean, before the Sacramento Kings got here, there was we were we weren't even on the map. Nobody even knew where we were. So there was there was no, if you want to do stand up, you either had to go down, I guess to San Francisco. I'm thinking I was, but I was only like 15 at my car. Yeah, it was writing jokes and wanted to do it. It was never pleased to do it. So

Scott Edwards:

this was something that you actually touched on it as a juvenile. I mean, as a teenager, you you didn't wait until you're an adult and go, Hey, geez, you know, Rodney Dangerfield was 50 before he hit the stage for the first time. So this was something that you were actually thinking about. Before you were an adult?

Unknown:

Oh, I absolutely wanted to do nothing else. There was I wanted to be an actor and a comedian. And not there was no plan. Oh, that's cool. I used to, uh, you know, and I knew that was I was just different than the other kids watching. Like the kids watch the Brady Bunch. And they would all be, you know, you know, Mr. And Mrs. Brady, and to me, it was Florence Henderson and Robert Reed. Christopher Good night. And, you know, I mean, I knew all the actors names, and when I watched Gilligan's Island was Jim Backus and and that was just, you know, an 11 year old doesn't do that. I would always look at camera angles. And so it was.

Scott Edwards:

So you had some theatrical interest in some acting in mind in and how did the comedy work into it?

Brian Diamond:

I blame the Three Stooges. Absolutely.

Scott Edwards:

Well, they had an effect on a lot. I still have the bruises. Yeah.

Unknown:

I worked with the comedian. One time, he had a great joke about it talking about how parents used to say, they'll become violent. If they watch the Three Stooges. They'll become murderers, they'll become because you don't have to. I became a comedian. But I yeah, I knew that I when I started writing jokes, I was maybe like 14 or 15. But I didn't get an opportunity to do it until I was 20 as somebody here in Sacramento said, Hey, there's an open mic here. And I'm like, Oh my gosh. And I found that a the jokes that I wrote, you know, when I was 14 or 15 are not funny for a group of strangers that are a lot older than 14 or 15. And, you know, that was like a rude awakening. And then also they were five or six years old. At that point.

Scott Edwards:

Well, and I'm gonna interject and just say, there's such a big difference between being the class clown or the funniest one in the family, to performing in front of strangers, and getting to make them laugh, and I'm just guessing Brian, but as a teenager, there was probably some you know, fart jokes or poop jokes or something, the kindness stuff that tea teenagers get a big laugh out that if you went out and done it, did it in front of a bunch of adults may not really go over.

Unknown:

Absolutely. You're absolutely right, their juvenile sophomore jokes. The other thing too is the the intimacy of, you know, you and me and everyday we know Mike and so when I do an impression of Mike, whoever Mike is and your family are, right, right, but this audience who've never met you, they don't know all these people. And so you have to find a common ground with them and pop culture and what's happening in the news. And, and so for me, you know, I started out doing a lot of stuff. The commercials on TV, and that's,

Scott Edwards:

Oh, interesting. So, you know, where's the beef and making fun of the old commercials back? Well, what's interesting is we're both homegrown Sacramentals. And I started my club in 1980. And we had an open mic almost immediately, because I was taught that that's how you find and develop talent. You are younger than I and you were, you know, waiting for that opportunity. But it wasn't it laughs You were doing some open mics at some bars and bowling alleys or whatever, before you came to my club. So at least you got your feet wet and kind of realized that maybe that sophomore humor wasn't going to work. And that's when you started working on it. Because I remember that when you did eventually end up at my club, you actually did have some material. It obviously needed work and it needed development. And you needed more time, which which is totally common. For an open mic. Er, but it wasn't like your first time on stage. No, I

Brian Diamond:

had probably been doing it about three years. Before I got into your club, Oh, yeah. And I remember, you had a bartender, I don't remember his name. But I went in, I was trying to get into your club. And I said, Yeah, I've performed that I just like made up the names of these comedy clubs, you know, 20 years old. Yeah, I've been to this. And he just looked at me like, yeah. And it, I wasn't ready to come to go tonight. so badly wanted to get on stage. And I did the comedy competition. And that's how if you if you place in the finals, you get work at limited. That was the rule. Yeah. And I made it to the finals. And I got two weeks. work

Scott Edwards:

there. So that's how I discovered you correctly, because no offense to you. And just to make my audience a little more aware, I'm older now. And this was back when I was young. And I literally saw 1000s of acts come through my door. So I don't remember personally, how you came to work for me. And that's why it's one of the early questions in the podcast interview. But I think it's fascinating because the comedy competition, we called it the Great Northern California comedy competition. It really was. This was before the San Francisco competition, this was pretty early on. And it was a way for me to not only get people that were let's call them wannabes, an opportunity to get on stage because there was no restrictions. You didn't have to have a certain amount of time you didn't have to be clean. You know, we it was an open stage if you wanted to try to juggle knives and kill yourself, hey, go for it. Right. It was pretty open, the wild wild west of entertainment. But it is true that the competition, the prizes were work at the club, and not just open mic work, but you could get a paid gig. And we had some great winners of that competition. But I think that's fascinating that that's what introduced you to me as an entertainer.

Unknown:

You had you had some heavyweights that would come out and do those competitions and they weren't you it was called the Great Northern California. But you had people coming from Houston, Texas and you know Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle. You have a lot of people coming from

Scott Edwards:

well when you put the prize is weeks of work and a chain of clubs. Any entertainer that is worth is not is looking for that work looking for that paycheck. And so we didn't have any huge cash prizes. We just promised paid work. And in the comedy industry back in the 80s that was a lot. So it was a bit of a draw. So you you did the competition you were one of the top people I saw you and offered you some work. Did you start off? I'm sure you started off as an opening act. Did you get a chance to develop Did you work with any comics that kind of guided you?

Brian Diamond:

Oh absolutely. And and not to sound like I'm you know, being a Name Dropper. But you know, I worked with Jerry Seinfeld later on but, you know, Willie Taylor and Lester, John Fox, Tim Jones,

Scott Edwards:

and all great comics and I'm sure you learn stuff from him. Absolutely. I'm always telling comics. In fact, the book I just came out Out with it. It says, Watch other comics, listen, learn, ask questions, because we're all in this, this industry, and there's things to be learned. I think that's you work with some amazing people.

Unknown:

Yeah. And I am Paula Poundstone. You know, watch, and they all have a little something different that I could learn from that they had a different skill set. You know, Jerry was a word tech and technician, you know, John Fox with all his physical animation. I loved all that. I mean, his body was an instrument, you know, the way that he would tell a joke. You know, Tim Jones was just very good at working the audience. And Paula Poundstone, was just an amazing improviser.

Scott Edwards:

And she was kind of out there. I mean, she could take some topic, and just twist it, kind of like emo Philips, you know, take something that, that you and I would would think as normal. And they would find the funny by looking at it through the Wonderland mirror or something, you know, it's like, instead of Alice in Wonderland, it was Paula, she would. She was amazing at that. Well, I'm so glad that you had an opportunity with to work with people like that. I think it's interesting. We shared this in a different interview. But you said you and I had a little conversation. And I sat you down and gave you what advice.

Unknown:

You know, I remember it like it was yesterday. So you gotta remember at that time, I'm, I'm, I started doing stand up when I was 20. And maybe like, 23 At this time, but still using jokes that I wrote, you know, when I was 20. And that would kill in the bars. Right? But this is a comedy club now. You're not in the bars anymore. And we brought you to the a room. Yes, absolutely. And you're working with these. And so you pulled me aside and said, you know, your, your materials a little bit crude.

Scott Edwards:

And I'm so subtle,

Unknown:

and I didn't understand that. But looking back now, and I remember some of the jokes that I was doing. I I won't do them here. But you know, I mean, one of them was a big Peewee Herman impression. Peewee Herman, you know, going out on a date and having relations in the

Scott Edwards:

Peewee Herman having sex? Well, that sounds perfect. Yeah. So but that

Brian Diamond:

was that was, that was what I closed my show with, you know, and then, you know, a couple of the commercials that were out there. And I remember, I can say it in a clean way. Do you remember the commercial for Head and Shoulders shampoo, where the, the, you know, the girl scratches her head, and she says, and then the voiceover of the narrator says that itch could be telling you something. And so, you know, if I didn't happen to me, I've used this thing, you know, I mean, we just scratch your head going, Hey, I wonder if I should go talk to this guy. And I said, but however, if she were to scratch herself, and I can't do it on a podcast, but scratching her genitalia, if you will, and I go, then I would say, now that itch could be telling you something funny when you're 21, or 22, not something that you want an opening for,

Scott Edwards:

right, Jerry Seinfeld or somebody. But it is true that there is a line of humor, we're taking something that everybody's aware of like a TV commercial, you know, the where's the beef commercial, and some of these others, head and shoulders is a good example. And that's not a horrible joke. It's just that it was crude compared to what I knew you could do and what the others that would have to follow you. And it's been mentioned a couple times in the podcast, but me as the producer, it's so important to set up the acts the headliners, so that they shine, right. And so the opening act can't be funnier than the headliner, or the feature that can't be funnier than the headliner, you want to build the energy and build the excitement. That's what a producer is all about. It's directing the entertainment so that it brings the best possible show, you know, they see the opening act, and people go, Oh, that was hilarious. How can they top that? Oh, and then they see the feature and they go, Oh, well, that's, and then they see the headliner will boom, they're falling out of their chairs, right? You're building to a crescendo of comedy, entertainment and laughter. And it's all about directing the show the right way. So I'm glad I was so honest.

Unknown:

On behalf of every comedian, thank you. And on behalf of an audience member that don't know why they enjoyed the show, they just know that they had a good time because a lot of that stuff's invisible. It's because of that that's behind the scenes. And I can tell you that as I advanced through my career, and I became a headliner, I used to sit there think What are you thinking about putting these people in front of me? You know, what do you you know,

Scott Edwards:

I've had I've heard that before. I was talking to Steve Bruner we both know is very successful and also one of the cleanest stand up comics ever around and he will do some gig in Wichita or something, and they would put up some fart fast you No, freakin this frickin that kind of act in front of him, and then say, Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we've taken you into the toilet. And now here's Steve Brunner, and it just makes his job so much harder. And there's no reason to do that. It's, it's, it's unfair to the comic. And it's unfair to the audience because you've taken them down one road. And you really want to end up on the clean road, because that's where you're gonna get your success. And, you know, you're not going to become a Jerry Seinfeld, or a Jay Leno, by being dirty and spewing crap all the time. But bring it back to the conversation. I always believed in trying to be honest with people because that's how they grew. So if I took the time to sit you down and say, Hey, this is a little crude, I think you can do better. It would may have sounded a little harsh at the time. But it was meant to encourage you to keep writing and keep working at it. Because if I wasn't interested in if I didn't see any spark of talent, I wouldn't have bothered. You just wouldn't have been back.

Unknown:

I didn't I didn't appreciate it at the time. But as as I got older, and I looked back, I said no, he's right. You know, I also had another person tell me a guy named John Cantu. So some of your comedy buffs.

Scott Edwards:

Yeah, I know, John. And he's like,

Unknown:

how long have you been doing this is how much time you got? I said, I can do two. I said, I got 20 is how long you've been doing it? Three years. He says, now you got five. I said, No, I got 20. You got five, you can do 20. You got five. And I saw. I was so offended. And then I but as I got older, and I look back, you and him were right. Yes.

Scott Edwards:

John was giving you the straight Pope that when a comic thinks they have so much time they probably have half of that. Yes. And because every comic wants to exaggerate their ability, because they're trying to show off for the producer of the show. But we as producers realize we don't want everything you have, we want the nuggets of gold at the base of it. Well, that's all interesting stuff. Now you work for me several years, and you worked way up to at least featuring any memories or stories about working with somebody on or off stage that you remember or have fun, or bad memories of.

Brian Diamond:

I, you know, I would have to say, I I enjoyed hanging out with comedians, I didn't have any bad experiences. I always love talking about the work. To me, this was an art and a craft. For some people. You know, it was just about getting up and being funny. And I don't remember who told me this. But you know, they said alliances you know, you were talking about the difference between being funny and class or funny around your family. And somebody said, You know what, the difference between a, a, a joker and a professional comedian, I said what he said, a joker says funny things, but a professional comedian says things funny. Um, and I went, and so there is peaberry orderlies. You know, they don't realize there's there's very much a craft and a science to this, the art of it is to make it look like you are just you're just up there talking. And it's stream of conscious. And there was nobody better at it than Robin Williams. It just looked like he was up there. But I will tell you that for most comedians, it's the Rod Stewart line, where he says, My, my, my ad lib lines are well rehearsed.

Scott Edwards:

Well, and Robin is a great example. But everybody thinks that he just made that stuff up on the spot in what was great was that his mind was so quick, that he could go into his mental file and come up with something funny about a word, a situation, whatever he was talking about. And he had just honed and trained such a large file of information that he more than most could call up jokes or funny information to share about any particular topic that came up on stage. But what I was going to bring it down to was, it's so important that the comic is doing an art form and sharing and engaging with an audience. And you can't do that if you're not being real, if you're not. Yeah, there's always some exaggeration, and maybe some lies in it. But it's something that the audience has to relate to and understand. And the other part of the art form, and I've mentioned this previously, so excuse me, but what makes comics good actors. And the thing is, is that when you're on stage doing a bit that you know, you've done 1000 times to get it honed. When you're doing it in front of that audience, they think that you just came up with it. That's the acting. It's like, oh, I got a funny joke to hear. Well, the audience doesn't realize you've told that joke, you know, 5000 times to get it perfect. And that's where the acting comes in. Now I know that you have had a lot of interest in acting. And after, as part of your comedy career, you kind of took a step you could have stayed on the road, but you decided to head down to Los Angeles and kind of dip your toe into the acting world, right?

Unknown:

Yeah, I all I ever wanted to do was be Paul riser or Michael Keaton. Those are my those were my heroes. And even Kevin Pollak. I throw in there the these were, were stand up comedians that were serious actors. And I wanted to do that. So I was taking acting classes here in Sacramento. But yeah, I went to LA and and, and because you have to immediately you eventually at some point, you got to go to New York or LA and obviously LA was the right here in California. And I went down there and but when I first got down, I was still on the road, I was still living out of a suitcase. And I said, well, well, I'm not even available in town for auditions, or classes or anything. So what am I gonna have to make some kind of I'm gonna have to come off the road and get a job. That's

Scott Edwards:

a huge decision. I mean, I know some comics that said, I can't do this, I gotta keep on the road and make a living. And I'm going to do it doing stand up comedy, and that became their career. But you and I both know, dozens of people that said, Well, I've done the road. And now I want to get a career in acting, but they have to make that switch. And, and dedicate themselves and their time to acting classes and doing showcases in in being seen in the area where they hope to get hired.

Unknown:

Well, what's also hard to is, is being you know, work in the clubs every night and maybe get a couple TV shots along the way and traveling all the way to leave all that and then go get a quote unquote, real job. I know that for me, I hadn't had a job in eight years, it was very, very difficult to go back. And in that time, you know, computers had come along I mean, computers obviously been around for a very long time, but they didn't really compete. You know, the Internet didn't come around till 94 And, and you know, Windows 95 came out in 94 Last time I went to go get a real job in 98 I didn't have any computer skills I was out living out of a suitcase Well none of us did. Yeah. And and so what I did is what most actors do and I had to go wait tables and so I got a job wait tables very fortunate that I got a job in a very very high end hotel in Beverly Hills. You know five star Five Diamond hotel and was around all the industry. All the industry people came in there all the time.

Scott Edwards:

Good way to make connections. Well, no, actually that really Oh, and

Brian Diamond:

I'll tell you why we had to sign a waiver that we couldn't disclose any of them it you couldn't talk to them? Well, you can talk to them.

Scott Edwards:

You can't pitch your Hey, I got a movie idea.

Unknown:

Not only not only is it tacky, you could get fired for it. Oh, wow. And I make sense. Yeah. And I didn't realize where I was working. Until I started seeing the clientele come through enemy. Everybody was enemy, old Hollywood, New Hollywood, old singers, new singers, old money, new money producers and record business producers in the film business. And it was interesting to be around all these heavyweights and talk to them and have conversations with them even laugh with them. And yet, I was no closer to making it than if I worked at a Denny's in South Dakota.

Scott Edwards:

That's kind of the reality of Hollywood, I think. But I think I'm interested as a listener. And I think my audience would be interested that we always, you know, my whole life and show business. That's why I call it on the fringe of show business is here in Sacramento. And you might as well be in the middle of Wichita, Kansas or something like that. Because once you're out of Hollywood or out of New York, depending on your line, you're nobody in the in the Hollywood scene. And so I had to make my own reality of entertainment in my little pond of Sacramento. But going to LA we've all heard these nightmare stories of people going down and sacrificing for years taking acting classes trying to be seen doing auditions and some get that golden ticket and sometimes it pays off but that's like one or point 5% of the time most of them end up you know being lifetime bartenders or waiters that

Brian Diamond:

you are spot on. You know, there's there's a couple of times in history that that plays out, not just in show business, but right here, you know, the Gold Rush how many people came out here for the gold rush? Very, very, very few people actually made money. And many people went away more broke than than they came here with. And it's the same thing with Hollywood is in I was always a numbers guy and I would look at the statistics and the odds and the probability of making the business which is a terrible thing to do in Hollywood. I was probably more geared to be a lawyer I in producer, then, but I still can persona because I love comedy. And I loved acting. And I still but yeah, I mean, it's very, very, very difficult to get into Screen Actors Guild very difficult. And then but even if

Scott Edwards:

I'm going to interrupt if you get to join the Screen Actors Guild, does that open any doors? Or are you just paying dues?

Unknown:

I had great question. The answer is paying dues i It means absolutely nothing. And you think that you're right. And I had somebody even tell me that because Brian, you think because I finally did get my sag card? I think it's what do you think that like, everything is gonna open up for you? And I think now is this now you can't do non union work. And it goes. And I had a friend of mine that actually got a pretty decent role in Hunt for Red October, okay. And he thought, oh, my gosh, this is my big break. And he says, and you know, when that door opens for you, you find there's a brick wall. And

Scott Edwards:

well, I can't tell you, we were joking the other day about how many actors, they work so hard, and they do so many editions, and they take so many actor training classes, and they're six years in after waiting tables, and they get their break, and they and they're put on a sitcom, and they go out and they get that contract, and they go out and they buy a house or they buy the Mazda, Marathi. And then three months later, the show's canceled. And that income stops. Or even if they run a year or two, then it stops, then they're Who are they? Yeah, they're so forgotten so quickly. In Hollywood, it's always the next thing. It's not what you have done. It's what can I do? To take advantage of your talent in the future? Right? It's a really difficult, it's so funny, because to everybody else in the country, which is, you know, 99.9% of the country, Hollywood is glitz and glamour. But if you're in Hollywood, it's a cesspool of competition and people, you know, ignoring you and you have to, you're fighting up a stream of desegregation to try to get any recognition if it's a hard, hard path. I know you did an evening at the Improv, you've done some television. You got on one of the few white comics to get on the BT network. You've had some successes that way. But did those experiences open up the doors?

Brian Diamond:

You think that they Well, when you're young and naive, you think that but you know, all those shows that that? Not that I was on a lot it was I had a handful? They come on late at night, you know, and I didn't I did the show Friday night videos on NBC. I don't know if you remember that where they put a comedian, right? Well, it's at 1230 in the morning, who was watching that, you know, and no, it really, I couldn't know what he, you know, you bring up Bruce Smirnoff. Bruce Smirnoff had a great line. One time we were working together talking about the business and he said, he says anything you want to be in life is just like a chart, of course for you. You want to be a lawyer, I could tell you to do this. You take this course you take that you go to law school, you pass the bar and you'll be you want to be an accountant and whatever career I can, is you want to make it and show business. There is no there's no way to know. I mean, it's like winning the lottery. It's the right hair the right look the right. Oh, right at the right height, you literally can be too tall, you can be too short, you can be too fat, you can be too skinny. You can look too much like the other people that they have cast already or not enough. I think I think the best best story that I remember seeing Christopher Knight who played Peter Brady on the Brady Bunch, you know, he said, Look, I can't sing. I can't dance. I've never taken an acting class. I went to a cattle call. And they had well they already had the dad cast already, Robert Reed. So they needed three boys that physically resemble that robbery. Christopher Knight walks in and he looks Yeah, you look like you could be Robert Reid's son and that's how he got the gig. And he beat out people that have been honing their craft these kids. They've probably been taking dance lessons since they were three years old, playing piano since they were four. And that's that's the way this

Scott Edwards:

Hollywood breaks. Yeah, it's funny. You mentioned Bruce Smirnoff. We were talking about him before the show. He's a tremendous friend of mine, and a very successful stand up comic. He's done everything you'd want to do as a professional comic, TV cruises, corporate, you name it. He's now retired in in southern Florida. But he's a great example. And I could name several of somebody that was really good, really talented, really honed his craft as a stand up comic, got some television shots, got some opportunities, but it just never broke to the you know, to what we call the golden ticket where you get a sitcom or you get something that's going to change your life. I've had a chance to work with some of those people Jerry Seinfeld, Dana Carvey, Jay Leno, Ray Romano Ellen, and, but that's such a small percentage of the really talented people I got to work with over the decades. And that's kind of the exciting and at the same time, sad part of the industry that I could name so many people that are tremendously funny, and in some ways funnier than the people that made it. But those people got the golden ticket that magic you know lotto when something happened and now they're famous and multimillionaires. Great side example. And Brian, this, this interviews about you, but I want to share this. A very good friend of mine, when I always say is one of the funniest people ever got to work with Larry Miller. He has done literally over 100 TV shows or movies. He's famous as the suck up guy and pretty woman. And yet, Larry Miller is not famous. Larry Miller had a great career made plenty of money. Very successful actor, very successful comedian, I'm sure has no regrets. And yet, nobody knows him. And yet one of his best friends, somebody he shared the funniest men in the universe with Jerry Seinfeld, and Paul riser, Mark Schiff as the other one. And he saw his friends get that golden ticket and get their opportunities. And it's, it's so fickle. This industry because you never know, it's really not about talent. Sometimes it's like you said, it's it's like, it's just fate,

Brian Diamond:

I don't know. It's it's, it's, it's, it's really like you go up to you go to Vegas, and, and you hit the slot machine and you make, it really is like that, it really is. And, you know, I don't want to bore your listeners with all these. But these sort of, but there are a lot of people that are very, very talented that you've never heard of. And that's in the music industry that's in the comedy, an actor's that never that will never make it above bartender or caterer, you know, and that doesn't mean that they don't have the skills and abilities. It just they didn't have the right hair color. They didn't have the right height. I mean, it really does kind of it would surprise you how some people get cast on shows and it does come down to because you have to look at it as like you do with your comedy clubs. You say okay, well, I'm working backwards. This is my headliner. So my features got to be this, my opener has to be this and you're putting it well, that's the same way they put together movies and they put together sitcoms and, and whatnot, and you got to physically resemble I can tell you what it works against you and for you. You could be too pretty as a as a female and the leading lace as well. And I don't want her you know, I don't want to compete you're like but I killed it. The audition? Yes,

Scott Edwards:

you did kill at the audition and you're very pretty, very pretty.

Unknown:

You know, you could be too tall, you know, whether you're working with, you know, a couple of household names that are not very tall. And if you're too tall, and you're well guess what you didn't get, but I kill the audition. Yes, you did. But you're too tall.

Scott Edwards:

Yeah, well, we could go on and on about the ups and downs of of Hollywood and acting. It's it's such a difficult path, but you took a shot at it and you had some opportunities. Let's bring it back to stand up comedy. I know that you've worked Stand Up Comedy in all 50 states is that right? Yes.

Brian Diamond:

And so the club hours to prove it.

Scott Edwards:

And you've worked clubs from professional a rooms like mine to the you know, bowling alley that has comedy in the corner or the drunk strip club. Do you have any, you know, really strong, positive or net throwing

Brian Diamond:

a couple of laundromats along

Scott Edwards:

Oh, laundromats. Wow, there's a good one. I haven't heard that one. Yeah, unless we're going to the comedy show down at the Five and Dime laundromat. What about hell gigs? If you had a hellacious road gig?

Brian Diamond:

Oh, gosh, more more than you can. I've played more how gigs that I have a rooms like yours. Well, there's

Scott Edwards:

more of them. Yeah,

Unknown:

you know, I mean, the they're the it's, it's it's feast and famine in this business. You think just because you know, you're doing stuff like you're on The Tonight Show? Or you're on Letterman. And obviously Letterman's retired, but that my era was was the 90s I mean, I did it all the way up till about maybe 2007 2008. And and sporadically throughout. But anyway, my era was the 90 So you know, Letterman and Leno. Those were the guy Carson. These are people that would be on that. And then you know, a week later, they're just plan, you know, some one night or out in the middle of Montana or Wyoming. When you're just on The Tonight Show? Yes, I was. That's that's that's the gig. You know. That's the life yeah, I see great musicians out at these one nighters. And I go, What are you doing out here and they'd look at me What are you doing out here? But oh, yeah,

Scott Edwards:

any particular road story though? That kind of stands out? Oh, I

Unknown:

got a couple of I would say the preface this with you and I had talked a little bit offline about all the factors. Well, Willie Taylor and lessors and talked about all the things that can make a show successful, not successful

Scott Edwards:

right out shortly. reiterate. So we were talking earlier before the interview that Willie Tyler and not Lester, but Willie Tyler of the willie Tyler and Lester of fame. And they've been interviewed on this podcast, had given you some advice, saying that don't take each show to heart that you failed or one because there's so many factors, including staging lights, sound day of the week, time of the show, audience, all those things are timing. Yeah, all that's a factor in being a successful stand up set. That's a great thing to share. And Willie was nice to do that with you. And so how does that work into the story? What happened? Well,

Unknown:

I Okay. One that comes to mind. I mean, the worst thing for comedy is daytime. Oh, right. And the second worst thing for comedy is actually in reverse order. The worst thing is outdoors. Outdoors, it, you know, your club is intimate, low ceiling, everybody's sitting next to you. You're all tightly packed in there. And it's a very intimate setting. So, outdoors kills at daytime is kills and music, you know, you do not want to follow music or be associated with music. Unless you're in Vegas, you're wearing a tuxedo you're opening for Frank Sinatra and Dr. Baker rather van Dros those with a great game. You don't want to be you don't want to be open and for tool or Metallica or

Scott Edwards:

anything like that. Because the audience is there for the music. They care less about the craft committee and it's got to go up and kill 10 minutes. Oh, that's funny.

Unknown:

So I I have the the key I can remember the toughest gigs like they were yesterday. The one gig I was flying I did a week in Nebraska. Sorry, I'm trying to brag. I was a whole bunch of one nighters where you went from like North Platte Kearney towns. And one of the gigs was it's a strip club all day long. And then at eight o'clock on Wednesday nights, you know, or eight o'clock on Thursday nights, they do a comedy show.

Scott Edwards:

What's the audience therefore? Yeah,

Unknown:

you gotta I mean, if they open at 12 noon, and they're seeing naked ladies, all day long. And then at eight o'clock, the comedy show starts

Scott Edwards:

ladies and gentlemen, Brian dive in.

Brian Diamond:

And I was opening at that. And there's those guys, they're not professional emcees like if they didn't do 1520 minutes up front and get the audience warmed up and get them focused. It's like y'all ready? Alright, bring a

Scott Edwards:

Betty Betty, you lift your G string.

Unknown:

And I'm telling you, these people do not want to see stand up comedy. No. And I hop up on stage. And like one of the first things I hear

Scott Edwards:

I'm sorry to interrupt. Were you in front of her behind the pole. Sorry, sorry, that just gave them my gosh, I

Brian Diamond:

yeah, I remember. I just remember. I was

Scott Edwards:

joking. No, no,

Unknown:

I know, I'm trying to get out of the room. But in any event, they they had no use for comedy. And me being the first person on stage. They had no use for me. And I remember I was only up on stage just a couple of minutes. And you know, I heard somebody yelling Hi. Show us your name really.

Scott Edwards:

Sparky put some money in my pants. So you want to see it you got to pay and and

Brian Diamond:

the beauty thing that they want me back. So you know.

Scott Edwards:

That was Oh, that is so hard for coffee. Oh,

Brian Diamond:

gosh, it was it was like pulling teeth. And you know, I had to do 30 minutes. And it seemed like three hours and 30 minutes just to get through it. And it was it was brutal. That

Scott Edwards:

would be tough. You said there was one other? Well, the as we revel in the tough things,

Unknown:

there's many I would have to say I got two of them for it. But one of them was right here in Sacramento. Oh, of all places of all the work was in Sacramento. It was at the California State Fair. Okay. And it's in the daytime. Okay. And it is there's a band out there that's playing there's daytime outdoors or music Sacramento August 103 degrees,

Scott Edwards:

then the heat to makes a difference.

Brian Diamond:

And and so the band is playing and then they say, Hey, we're gonna take a little break and we're gonna bring up comedian to come up on stage. Like yelling and throwing stuff at the stage. And yeah, and that was just my parents so and I went up on stage and oh, right before I go on the guy that is booking me. He says, Look, you don't have to go on. You don't have to go on he goes. I'll get Yeah, you know, 50 bucks, and you only have to go on at all. And I was getting 200 to do like us and now I need the money. You know, I said, Give me that Mike. It was the worst. I should have just taken the fifth. I mean, people were throwing stuff yelling and I couldn't even you know, comedy about at least my style guy cuz I'm from the old school is premise setup punchline.

Scott Edwards:

Right, right. No, no, no, you're doing it right. Yeah. But then even

Unknown:

you couldn't even get your premise in your setup. I was.

Scott Edwards:

If you don't have the audience's attention, you weren't set up as a comic you were trying to compete with the music. That is a hell gig guarantee. Now, what about like one of your best shows? Was there something that? You know, not necessarily at laughs unlimited. But was there a concert or show? I know you did a couple evening, the improv was maybe one of those. Was there something that like you said, Wow, this is why I'm in the business.

Brian Diamond:

Two shows that come to mind. Yeah, I Yeah. I mean, I have a lot. I mean, I can, I mean, I'm just picking too, but certainly there. There were enough good shows to keep me going for doing it for almost 20 years. But I would say to kind of mine I want my my first tour as a professional community. But I did it for about five years. Before I felt ready to quit my job. Okay, and I quit my job. My first gig as a professional was going overseas on a USO tour. Entertaining. Yeah, entertaining the troops that were getting ready for operation. Desert Storm. Wow, for the first one. And I went over there with Moe Benjamin. Oh, wow. Veteran and I went over there. And mo

Scott Edwards:

betterman. Regular comic in Sacramento. Yeah. But what a great opportunity. And I could see why that would be memorable, getting a chance to entertain the troops. And unlike a State Fair crowd, they were probably hungry for anything to take their mind off what was coming in to be entertained by comics. If you're in the military, and you're about to go into war. It's, it's like Bob Hope. I mean, you cannot bomb they are so hungry for entertainment. I bet those were amazing gigs. Yeah,

Unknown:

yes, they were also that thing we talked about that these aren't comedy clubs. And sometimes it was a makeshift couple milk crates, put a plywood, portable PA system. You know, these guys are getting ready to go to war. These aren't comedy clubs. So some of those were tough. And they were during the daytime and they were outdoors.

Scott Edwards:

Oh, so but the crowds that wouldn't have been a little more receiving or accepting of what the situation was, or it still made it tough because it was daytime, a lot of

Unknown:

us when we were over in Korea, a lot of people, they were getting ready to go home, they put in their two year a duty to go to war and they'd been notified. You're staying here with no end dates indefinitely. So a lot of them were very depressed. A lot of they didn't want. So there was those shows. But this particular one, we were out in the desert, Kuwait, actually, and it was a makeshift, and all these, you know, military guys in their fatigues, and stay there's not a lot of shows where people are standing there with M 16.

Scott Edwards:

This particular show down at Joe's Bar, but that's open mic night. But yeah, those would be different. Yeah.

Unknown:

And we had five comedians and I was I went up last, and did the show. And they all got up. And I thought they were all getting up to leave, because I was the last command, the show was over. And they got up to give a standing ovation. And it was just like, oh, man, it was it was I got verklempt, you know, because this is why we're out here. This is what you said, Why would bring these people going into war, you know, these trips, and this is what they needed. Just a little bit of home a little bit of laughter. And we delivered

Scott Edwards:

all five of us we can, but the emotions that you must have felt at that moment, in knowing what gift you had given those soldiers. You know, we talk about the endorphins and the good feelings in the energy that an audience can give an entertainer. But that situation has to be one of the most satisfying because they know and you know that their future is is undetermined. And you're giving them like you said a little touch of home. That had to be amazing.

Brian Diamond:

Yeah, it really was. And I mean, I you talked about Mark chef a little bit earlier. Yeah. Mark chef wrote a book. I read his book, and he talks about a similar thing going overseas to and I actually, you know, I got I got teary eyed reading his book because I said, Yeah, I did that. And that was probably one of the best times in my career. I know. That's great

Scott Edwards:

that you did that Brian. And I think it's interesting that just like any other career choice, and it doesn't matter if you're building a building or digging a ditch or whatever, whatever career choice you make, there's going to be Hell gigs, days that you want to forget or go home and have a pint. And there's going to be days that you go, you know, I did something I feel good about I succeeded at something, I completed something, whatever it is, and you get that sense of satisfaction. And in show business, I think the lows might be a little lower, and the highs might be a little higher. It's all part of show business. But I think those are great stories. Thanks for sharing them. Yeah, well, they

Unknown:

Yeah, I you know, I mean, and another one that's same like to share about I just did a show, two ladies came up to me afterwards. And they said, we wanted to thank you. And I said, for what? And they said, well, our brother died three months ago, this is the first time that we got our mother out of the house. She's just been, you know, in a bad way. And you made her laugh, and we just wanted to thank you. And it was like,

Scott Edwards:

Ah, see, that's, that's a great moment. And, and that was your special moment. But I want to pull off that a little bit, and share with my audience that what's interesting about being a comedian or a comedy producer, like me, as a club owner, I'm looking, I would sit back during the show, and see everybody laughing. And guess what the people I pick out were the ones that weren't laughing. And I would watch them until they broke. And you're you go, yes, you know, we made a difference in this person's life, at least for this time that they were there. And that in itself is satisfying. And I wasn't even a part of it, I just put together the show. But I got satisfaction out of seeing that for the time that people it was kind of a weird goal. But the time that people are in my clubs, they're not thinking about their bills, or their some fight with a relative or having to go to work or whatever. It's true escapism, if an audience is, is enjoying the show, and the comic is doing what you're supposed to do, and bringing them in, and then entertaining them with stuff they can relate to. They don't even have a chance to think about all the rest of the world. They're really in that moment, you know, and we talked about that earlier being in the moment, and how important that is, as an entertainer, but in stand up comedy, it actually rackets up to another level. And having those two ladies share that with you. Much like entertaining, the troops had to really feel satisfying and fulfilling as an entertainer, congratulations, that's those kinds of moments are rare and need to be remembered.

Unknown:

Well, thank you. And I should thank them. Because you know, and you pointed out best in the I think you've put this in your book, or you must have told me but I remember you saying something that exactly that, that the best times of your life are in this industry and the lowest points in your life or in this industry. And that was certainly the way that I felt over a lot of times I mean it you can get your heart broken in Hollywood and and, and in this business and because of all those and so those moments, you know, you their victories are cherished. Yeah, absolutely. And and no, I I love that I can even share that story of it. But I remember I have total recall. So yeah,

Scott Edwards:

no, that's great. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been such a gift to have Brian jump in and be interviewed for my podcast. We had not known each other very long back in the 90s and 80s. And we have not been connected over the last several decades. So you taken the time to share your story with myself and my podcast listeners. Thank you very much. It's it's been a privilege to get reconnected.

Unknown:

I absolutely agree. It's great to reconnect with you. And it's just great. It really isn't. Thank you so much for having me on and being able to share these stories until it's been a lot of fun.

Scott Edwards:

And before we and I know you're you just finished a book. It'll be out soon. What's Is there a title?

Brian Diamond:

Yes, the name of the book is called if you don't know where you're going, you've come to the right place.

Scott Edwards:

Well, ladies and gentlemen, check Amazon. By the time this launches, the book will be out. And it's by Brian diamond that your author and the name of the book is

Brian Diamond:

if you don't know where you're going, you've come to the right place. And that's great.

Scott Edwards:

Hey, thanks so much for joining us today. Brian and keep an eye out. He's still out doing his one man show occasionally still entertaining, but more importantly look for the book.

Brian Diamond:

Yes. Thank you very much for having me, Scott. I

Scott Edwards:

really appreciate Oh, our pleasure, Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for listening to the podcast. Don't forget next Sunday another great show for you. Thanks for listening. Bye by.

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