Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"
Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"
Holiday Special/ Re-Boot "10 Standup Comics w/Music & Stories!" #HoHoHo -2nd
Yakov Smirnoff, Eddie Brill, Steve Bruner, Kermet Apio, Dennis Blair, Rick Allen, Larry Brown, Gregg Schwem, Mack Dryden, and Larry "Bubbles" Brown bring a unique blend of humor and insight to the controversy surrounding "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." While Smirnoff critiques the story's depiction of bullying and societal discrimination, Brill and Bruner highlight the darker themes that often go unnoticed in this beloved holiday classic. Apio, Schwem, and Dryden emphasize the need for more positive messages about acceptance and kindness, reflecting on the broader societal issues of racism and exclusion. Through their combined perspectives, these comedians shed light on the importance of re-evaluating traditional narratives to promote inclusivity and empathy during the holiday season.
(00:02:43) Comedians Balancing Work and Holiday Celebrations
(00:07:03) Rudolph's Discrimination in Holiday Classic
(00:11:46) "Dark Themes in Rudolph the Reindeer"
(00:15:25) Nostalgic Christmas Tales Filled with Laughter
(00:30:27) Bittersweet Sentiment of Christmas Tree Tradition
(00:35:27) Fireplace Mishap with Southern Christmas Tree
(00:38:52) Nostalgic Stories of Festive Holiday Traditions
(00:41:06) Resilient Holiday Traditions: Soviet Union to America
(00:57:22) "Hawaiian Names in Santa's Gift Giving"
(01:13:35) "Festive Laughter: A Comedian's Christmas Chronicles"
(01:16:21) Thoughtful Holiday Gift Selection Recommendations
(01:21:51) Emotional Significance in Gift Giving
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This is another episode of stand up comedy. Your host in MC celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business. Stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC, Scott Edwards. Hey, hello everybody, and happy holidays. This is my special 2023 Christmas special podcast. I've gone to a lot of editing and effort to bring you something very unique and special. It's gonna last a tad longer than our normal show, but all meant to be a lot of fun. Kind of my podcasting gift to you, my audience. And look at it this way, think of it as the reason for the season. Oh, hey, we got a great lineup of talent to share jokes, music and stories of the holiday season coming up later on. Bruce baby man Bomb shares a special story we hear from famous russian comic Yakov Smirnoff. In his first Christmas in the US, Tim Beador did a special vague but true for us. Larry Bubbles Brown shares why the holidays have a little bit of a sting to them. For him, we have some jokes by Steve Bruner, some comedy music by Dennis Blair. He opened up for George Carlin for over a decade. And from New York, Rick Allen shares a little Christmas tune. And Greg Schwim has some great holiday stuff that his family does every year. And Mac Dryden out of Tennessee shares humorous holiday story. And comic Bruce Smirnoff from Florida shares a little bit of his humor. And a special treat from Seattle, Kermit appeal talks about what it was like celebrating Christmas in Hawaii as a child. So as you can see, we have a great lineup of entertainment. Hopefully you'll enjoy listening to it as much as I've enjoyed making it for you, to you and your family, I wish you a very happy holiday season. And for now, let's jump into our holiday special. And to kick things off, a nostalgic listen to the beginning of the old 1964 tv show Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, as it leads into an interesting aspect of that cartoon that Eddie Brill, you may remember him from the Letterman show, shares with us. All right, here we go. Enjoy.
Eddie Brill:Papa, you haven't touched a morsel.
R. Scott Edwards:I'll have to take this dude in. Eat.
Eddie Brill:I'm busy, Mama. It's almost Christmas.
R. Scott Edwards:Whoever heard of a scrambled skinny Santa? Eat.
Dennis Blair:Now don't any of you worry your heads about Santa. Misses Claus will have him plenty fattened up by Christmas Eve. It's always the same story. I love this christmasy time of year, especially when everything is running happy and smooth like it is this season. Nothing like that year of the big snowstorms. I don't know what we would have done without Rudolph to pull us through anyway.
R. Scott Edwards:Rudolph?
Dennis Blair:Could it be that some of you are not acquainted with the story of Rudolph? Now, you know how Santa uses these flying reindeers, pull his sleigh. You know, Dasher and dancer and prancer and vixen, comet and Cupid, Donner and blitzen.
R. Scott Edwards:But do you recall the most famous living reindeer of all as part of our Christmas special? The guy that helped put David Letterman on the map because he was the warm up act and did all the bookings for the David Letterman show. Ladies and gentlemen, it's my good friend Eddie Brill. Hey, Eddie.
Gregg Schwem:Hey, everybody. Hooray.
R. Scott Edwards:We are doing this holiday special. Help us get into the Christmas spirit.
Gregg Schwem:Well, you know, I love Christmas and the spirit and the Holy Ghost. I'm a big fan, but Christmas time is so much. You know, one of the things that I loved growing up was all the Christmas cartoons, and I still love them. And it's odd because there's so many really great ones. And, you know, there's frosty the snowman, which is a classic, and the Grinch Bahu dore, you know, all that kind of stuff. And there's always good messages in them. My favorite one is very, not many people know this one, but it's Mister Magoo's Christmas carol, and it's the actual Christmas carol with the character Mister Magoo playing the lead, playing Scrooge. And it's very funny, but it's also, you know, it's a great classic story. And the other part about it, the music is amazing because at that time, they were searching for music for this cartoon. And the guys who wrote Funny girl for Barbra Streisand and all this incredible Broadway stuff happened to be free because the project they were about to do with Barbra Streisand wasn't ready yet. So these guys who knew the guys names are Merrill, and I think the other guy's name is Bob Merrill is one of the guys. And they contacted them and said, will you write the music for the Mister Christmas carol? So if you never get to watch it, a lot of people don't really know that one. It is the music. The soundtrack is phenomenal and memorable and beautiful. One of the rumors was that they were, they wanted to use the song people that Barbra Streisand famous in the cartoon, but Barbara's like, look, it's too good of a song. I want it. And so she, they gave it to her. But what's interesting. What's interesting about my favorite Christmas cartoon, the more I looked at it and looked at it was Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer. Because, you know, it's that cool animation that I've always loved. And, you know, there's some good music in there as well and other kind of I've always loved soundtrack Rudolph one. I mean, Santa Claus is a complete asshole in this cartoon. Every time, every time he shows up, he's a jerk. And there's always bullying. And like, the coach, the coach, his name is Comet and he is teaching the class. This is how the students start. Tell where he's teaching the class, and the class is not very good, so he's not a good teacher and his ego gets in the way. And Rudolph, who comes there and can actually fly and teach all the kids and be an example to them, the coach turns out to be this jackass who puts Rudolph down. We're not going to let Rudolph play any more of those radio games. And why are they letting him play? Because he has a red nose. So you talk about, like, you know, looking at society, someone is, you know, looks different than the other people. They get shit on, which is a shame. You know, it's the way it is. So this coach is so insecure and so sad and, you know, roof runs away. Santa's piston parents. Rudolph's parents are embarrassed by their own child. I mean, everything that is horrible about teaching kids, you know, lessons about life and about sharing and caring and not caring about how you look like on the outside, none of it's being. It's just showing the great of society. And like I said, you know, shows up at the practice and yells at Rudolph's parents for putting this red nosed reindeer out there. And it's like little Santa know he's gonna need him later in the program. And, you know, and then Rudolph's in love with this girl Clarice, and she hates where they are, too. There's always tomorrow, she thinks, because she knows that she lives in this horrible, racist, bullying town where, you know, the north Pole is. Turns out to be. There's her. He meets one friend, Hermie wants to become a dentist. Hermie is, you know, is the other independent soul, yet, you know, he gets from his boss, Herbie, you want to be a dentist. And of course the guy's going to need a dentist eventually and wish that he never made fun of her. And again, it's an older guy, insecure. You know, some young kid comes along, he has talent, he's a good guy, and the old guy is a jerk. You know, Clarice's father. I don't want anybody hanging out with a red nosed reindeer. Very, you know, very racist. You know, that pretty much is what's going on, and it just keeps going. And then there's a weird part to the cartoon about in the island of misfit toys. Like, there's all these toys that are not perfect. And because they're not perfect, they put all these toys on an island to just lay there and rot, which is weird, because they toys didn't mess up. It should be the island of the elves who screwed up. The elves should be banished to the island, who made these horrible toys. And who knows? Maybe they were under pressure from that two faced Santa Claus, and they screwed up. Who knows? Anyway, there's. There's a train with square wheels, and, like, you know, and so get a kid a router for Christmas and have them learn how to make the wheels circular, you know, I mean, there's so many lessons. There's another weird part of the island of Miss McCoys where this little girl dolly, and there's nothing wrong with her at all. And I actually did some research, and one of the guys in charge was approached with that same question, what is wrong with a doll? And he said, well, she has mental issues, which is a cop out. I think it's kind of weird. So it's just like this horror show of horrors. And then just to move it along, because I want to get to this point, is that at the end of the show, Rudolph snows, and Santa cancels Christmas because, of course, he's an asshole. And why would he cancel Christmas? He doesn't do anything anyway. He's in the sleigh, and the elf is with him, and the elf does all the work. Santa does nothing except bitch and complain and be a jerk, and he's such an asshole. And the mother says, oh, eat, papa, eat. And he's like, screw you, mother. You know? Like, he's just. You can see all the elves running behind the trees, scared that Santa's gonna beat his wife again. You know, it just. It just seems like a horror show. And then Santa realizes that, oh, my God, I need Rudolph, because without his nose, I can't see through the snow. Then he's, oh, Rudolph, that beautiful, wonderful nose and everything. Fine. But if I was Rudolph, I'd say, hey, screw you, Santa. You can. Guys have been dogging me this whole show, you know, I want ten grand up front, and I want that prick of a coach fire. Then I'll leave this way. You know, that's what I would do. But that's the difference between me and Rudolph. Rudolph was clear headed. But here's the weirdest part. With the first year that they did Rudolph in 1962, the end of the show and the credits went by and no one knows what happened to the island of misfit toys. And this is a true story. Hundreds of thousands of families wrote in, you know, like, what happened to the toys? Why don't we know what happens to the misfit toys? You know, everyone loves the vulnerability of those toys except for Santa and all the jerks of the show. And so what they did was they redid the ending and the second year, and they put the elf on the sled with Santa while the credits were rolling. And they have the elf throwing the misnomer toys out with umbrellas, you know, out in the. Which is weird because Sam is making deliveries to houses. But these toys still get the raw end of the deal because they get thrown, like, 10,000ft in the air, down to the ground with umbrellas. Like an umbrella is going to help them. But here. And here's the final nail in the coffin, almost literally. There's murder. At the end of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, there's murder. No, here's what happens. Santa's on display and he's not doing a thing. He's just sitting there, you know, complaining and angry and all this kind of stuff. And the elf is doing all the work, taking the misfit toys, giving them umbrella, throwing them over the side. Well, when it comes to the bird, there's a bird who cannot fly. That's his thing. One of the misfit toys, the bird that cannot fly. So I swear to you, you have to watch. At the end of it, the elf looks at the bird in one hand, looks at the umbrella in the other hand, looks back at the bird and doesn't give the bird the umbrella and throws it over the side, and the bird can't fly. So obviously this bird is plummeting to its death. And so here you got this show with bullying and racism and a bad santa, a horrible santa. Not a bad Santa, just a mean spirited, horrible man. You know, just people just judging people for who they are on the outside instead of realizing that if they just treated them with respect, that everything would be great and cool. But the kids don't learn that watching that cartoon. They just learned that the world is a ghetto and that at the end of that cartoon, there's murder.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, ladies and gentlemen, Eddie Brill is sharing some interesting information. First off, the Mister Magoo Christmas Carol has some of the best music in the industry. And we got to go check that out. Go to the Googler. But I never realized because I've been watching Rudolph the red nosed Rondeer my whole life, and it's just a series of bullying and judgment and mistreatment, and it ends in murder. Ladies and gentlemen, you're hurted here by the famous Eddie. Brilliant. Don't go to the North Pole. You'll be mistreated. Hey, Eddie, thanks for giving us a different view of our favorite holiday cartoons.
Gregg Schwem:Yeah, you'll never, you'll never watch it the same again.
R. Scott Edwards:All right, let's get on to our next guest. Well, ladies and gentlemen, this holiday special has been so much fun, but I'm so lucky to have on the line sharing his holiday spirit with us. A very talented professional comic. He does cruise ships, clubs all over the country. He's a very successful public speaker. Greg Schwem is with us, and he's going to share his family's holiday tradition. Hey, Greg. Merry Christmas.
Gregg Schwem:Merry Christmas. Scott is so great to be here on this festive at this festive time of year. What great idea that you have, by the way, doing this, this, this holiday theme podcast.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, it's just so fun to get all the guys and gals together to share what they find funny about the holidays. And you were saying that in your family, you have taken one of the traditional Christmas songs and kind of twisted it a bit, right?
Eddie Brill:A little bit.
Gregg Schwem:See, this is what happened. So years ago. So we used to celebrate Christmas Eve, my family, and then my dad had a college friend, and our families used to get together every Christmas Eve. And myself and his college buddy's son both played guitar. Not well, but we played guitar. So we would always. After dinner, we would sing. We would sing Christmas carols. Okay, so everybody gather around. Dinner, would sing Christmas carols. And one year, we don't really know how this happened. And by the way, just so you know, this party, it was, the cast of characters always changed. That was the great thing about it. I mean, as the kids got older, you know, they would bring home college friends who maybe didn't, couldn't afford to go home for the holidays or just, you know, we've had foreign exchange students, we had people going through marital issues, you know, but everybody was welcome. But it was never the same group of people every year.
R. Scott Edwards:And that sounds like a lot of families. The holidays is kind of an open door policy. And every year there's a different group, but I guess that made the singing a little more interesting.
Gregg Schwem:Absolutely. So one year we were singing the song up on the housetop. So, you know, up on the house top, rangers pause, out comes out jumps good old sand claws. And then you remember, if you remember the corresponding verses, the next one was like, you know, first comes to stock game for now, you know, oh, dear Santa, fill it well, you know, oh ho ho ho. And gawky. So that was the course. So for some reason.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, already, ladies and gentlemen, that was a nice little Christmas music.
Gregg Schwem:And we're done. And we're done. Yes. No, so I don't know what happened. There was a lot of alcohol involved in these things. The older, myself. I know, I know. It just happened. We, you know, once you bring out a box of white Zinfandel, who knows what happened?
R. Scott Edwards:Christmas favorite at our house.
Eddie Brill:Yes, exactly.
Gregg Schwem:So myself and this other guy, we started ad libbing on the spot versus for everybody in the room. Okay? So everybody, we would just, like, look around and, you know, if the guy's name is John, you know, you know, next comes the stocking for little John. And we were.
Eddie Brill:We were both. He was.
Gregg Schwem:He had a very good comedic mind, too, and we were both pretty good at thinking on our feet. And we just started ad libbing, you know, just another line and another line and another line, and we're like, okay, this is kind of fun. And there was no filter. And so we did it ad libbed. And the next year, somebody said, you guys are going to do your versus right now? Like, oh, God, I didn't realize we simply had a job, but now there's.
R. Scott Edwards:An obligation to entertain right now.
Gregg Schwem:I've been hired, and I don't even know if you pay for this, but. So we would get a few drinks in us, and before dinner, we would disappear for, like, an hour, and we would have a list of everybody, of everybody that was at the party. And we'd write a verse for everybody. And sometimes I'd be like, okay, you know, the guy that just showed up at his death, divorced.
Eddie Brill:What's his story?
Gregg Schwem:We had, like, nothing to go on. And then after dinner, we'd come down and we'd sing all of them. And I mean, God, Scott, one year, I think our record was like, 28 people we had to do versions for. Sometimes it was like ten, but one year just everybody was invited and everybody showed her.
R. Scott Edwards:But it sounds like so much fun and a great way to kind of bring everybody together, because we all know in comedy poking fun at each other is. Is not only hilarious, but is all self deprecating and fun.
Eddie Brill:Self deprecation. There's nothing wrong with it.
Gregg Schwem:You can kind of go to the.
Eddie Brill:Edge of the water.
Gregg Schwem:Don't dip your toe too far in. You know, like, don't. Don't get too personal with people.
Eddie Brill:Yeah.
R. Scott Edwards:You don't talk about Larry's sex change, but you can still get some. Okay, that's hilarious, Greg.
Gregg Schwem:That kind of thing. So, like, if. Let's suppose you came to the party. Okay. So we'd be like, okay, this guy. This guy Scott. This guy Scott. What's his deal? And I'd say, well, I know he has a podcast, and I know he has comedians on the podcast. You ever listen to his podcast? Well, he's been in comedy forever. Okay, that's all we need. Oh, your verse would be something like, next comes the stocking for little Scott. His comedy podcast is really hot. His comedian guests should bring great ratings. Too bad they peaked in the 1980s.
Rick Allen:Okay, wait a minute.
Gregg Schwem:Wait a minute. That would be your. I get a little promotion and a little jab at you.
R. Scott Edwards:That's hilarious. Hey, thanks so much for doing a verse on me.
Gregg Schwem:Yes, exactly.
Steve Bruner:Well, I can't really. You know.
Gregg Schwem:You really can't get a sense of what. How weird this was until you're part of the.
R. Scott Edwards:Until you're part of it. Right. But we know a lot of comics. Have you done any for comics?
Gregg Schwem:Yeah, I mean, I thought.
Eddie Brill:Okay, so I was.
Gregg Schwem:I was trying to think about, you know, who's. Who's really popular right now, and I just. I just watched John Mulaney's special. Okay.
Eddie Brill:Did you see baby j?
R. Scott Edwards:No, but I've heard things.
Gregg Schwem:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, I mean, you know his backstory, too, and, you know, kind of how he came. So, like, his would be something like, you know, next comes the stocking for John Mulaney. Lately, his life's been kind of rainy with his demons. He's called a truce and done a Netflix special about cocaine use. All right, so that would be his.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, these are great.
Gregg Schwem:Yeah. And, I mean.
Eddie Brill:And it's just.
Mack Dryden:It was.
Gregg Schwem:It was just. It was just fun to do stuff.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, you know, for riffing off the top of your head, that's not bad. But let's be fair, Greg. The Greg swim family has been having this traditional. There must be a verse about you, Greg.
Gregg Schwem:Oh, God, I. Yeah, I don't know.
R. Scott Edwards:I.
Gregg Schwem:You know, you didn't get to write your own verse. That's the thing.
Eddie Brill:Oh, that was the thing.
Gregg Schwem:We didn't. Yeah, we. That was the one thing my friend and I agreed on was that I wrote his separately and he wrote mine separately. So there was a little bit. So we were able to be surprised as well. I remember once, the second line was, he drinks like he's got a hollow leg.
Eddie Brill:That was like.
Gregg Schwem:That was little Greg. He drinks like he's got little Greg.
Rick Allen:I should get my mom on the phone.
Eddie Brill:I know.
Gregg Schwem:You should get my mom on them. I think my mom saved all of them.
R. Scott Edwards:That's hilarious.
Eddie Brill:Somewhere.
Gregg Schwem:But I can't remember exactly anything about me. But I'm sure it was. I'm sure it was point. Depending on what was happening in my life at the time.
R. Scott Edwards:Greg, thanks so much for sharing this great holiday tradition for the Schwem family. I wish you continued success as a comic. I know you're going out on some cruises soon. You got public speaking events all year round. But stopping and sharing a little holiday cheer in this great family musical story has been fun. Thanks so much, Greg.
Eddie Brill:My pleasure.
Gregg Schwem:Happy holidays, Steve.
R. Scott Edwards:And now for something completely different on this holiday special. Here is a recorded set from a comic out of New York, Rick Allen. Very talented, fun guy. And he sent me a live recording of a set he did where he celebrates breastmas. Here we go. Preferred method. What is it? It's cleavage. Cleavage is the preferred method of women getting men's sexual. I want to talk about cleavage here for a minute. Cleavage is like getting a preview to a show that you're never going to see. Breasts are like guts joke that he played on.
Dennis Blair:Men like to look at breasts and.
R. Scott Edwards:Within put them on display for men to say we're not allowed to look. No fair. Unfair. I think they should have a holiday one day out of the year. Will women have to show us their breast? They could call it breastmas. On the first day of breastmas my true love gave to me a large pair of double ds. Eight breasts of milking, seven topless dancers, six hookers hooking, five nipples, four girls, one wild, three pornos, two hooter girls and a large pair of double dick. That was Rick Allen out of New York giving his own little twist to the twelve days of Christmas. Anyway, we want to keep the musical aspect of our Christmas special going. Here's a special song that was put together and actually professionally recorded by Dennis Blair. You may know that name. He opened up for George Carlin for over a decade. Very talented stand up comic and apparently knows how to sing. Ladies and gentlemen, here's a song by Dennis Blair.
Yakov Smirnoff:Smiles a lot. I would too. With the life he's got oh, Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy only works one day a year well, if I did that, they'd call me a bum. That's unemployment where I come from. Hey, Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy only works once.
Eddie Brill:Will he put some.
Yakov Smirnoff:Toys upon his sleigh hops on the bag and then zooms away takes one day to do that chore sleep for the other 364 how much free time can you take? That's what I call a coffee break.
Gregg Schwem:Hey.
Yakov Smirnoff:Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy only works one day oh, blow it.
R. Scott Edwards:Satan.
Yakov Smirnoff:Puts some toys upon his sleigh hops on the bag and then zooms away takes one day to do that choreography the other 364 if I had a job like that, I'd wear that stupid suit and hat.
Bruce Baum:Hey.
Yakov Smirnoff:Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy well, Santa's got it easy only works one day yeah. One more time now where? Santa's got it easy Santa's got it easy well, Santa's got it easy well, Santa's got it easy only works one.
Eddie Brill:Day.
Yakov Smirnoff:When Sandin got it he's the only work one day.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, wow. That was great. That was a song by Dennis Blair. A very talented stand up comic. Made a huge career in his life, and he shared that special holiday tune just with us. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Hey, I have a special introduction coming up. Here we go. Oh, man, this has been so much fun. This holiday special is moving right along. Hey, and you know what I have on the line? One of my best friends in comedy. He's worked my clubs for years. He's still doing major shows for me every year. Why? Because he's one of the funniest and cleanest comics in the business. Ladies and gentlemen, a warm holiday welcome to Steve Bruner. Steve, thanks for joining us for the holidays.
Eddie Brill:Thank you.
Steve Bruner:Thank you, Scott. Happy holidays. Ho, ho, ho. And all that kind of good stuff. I don't know if you're growing your Santa beard just for the occasion or you're hanging your holly or your mistletoe. That's one way to get in with them. What do they call that? I work for myself, so I don't have. What's that called when you're inappropriate with the workers or something? Yeah.
R. Scott Edwards:Sexual harassment.
Steve Bruner:I did get sued for sexual harassment, which is weird because I'm self employed. That is. Well, you know that. I'm going to tell you, Scott, that is the one of the worst things about being your own boss and working for yourself come Christmas, is it is the absolute worst secret. Secret Santa in the entire world that, you know, there. There is no. There is no secret in the secret Santa.
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah. And I guess the Christmas party might be a bit of a letdown, although. Yeah. Bruner, party of one.
Steve Bruner:I always get lucky. Let me just say that.
R. Scott Edwards:I'll tell you, it takes some of the mystery out of that end of it. Well, there's a little gift for you.
Steve Bruner:I know I'm going home with.
Gregg Schwem:Yeah.
Steve Bruner:Okay. I keep talking over you. Sorry, Scotty.
R. Scott Edwards:No, no, no. I'm just excited to have you on the phone and you're taking us right down the.
Steve Bruner:It's like a Christmas gift. You are like a Christmas gift all year long, buddy. Anytime I get a phone call from you, I know there's going to be a good laugh on one end or the other.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, I. Steve, you've been on the road doing comedy for over 30 years. You've worked a lot of holiday shows. What have you found entertainment wise, that brings Christmas and the holiday spirit together for your audiences?
Steve Bruner:Well, everybody seems to be in a good mood, although when there is a. I mean, that's. That's always nice. Just around the holidays, regardless of which way you celebrate, I always try to pull out some joke or other for, for Christmas, and one that I've always, always liked, but it's never done because it's not really. My personality is. A friend of mine wrote a joke, he can't get it to work. He gave it to me to work, and it was. I bought a live Christmas tree this year. And people always say, oh, that's such a wonderful thing to do. And it's. It's not because I want to plant it. It's just I wanted to kill it myself. And I always thought that was such a funny, terrible, horrible twist to a joke, but he couldn't get it. I've never been able to make it work, but it made it onto your. Onto your show.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, that's what we're here for, jokes that don't make it, you know, but it is true when you, you know, I'm a live tree Christmas guy and I love the smell.
Steve Bruner:And you have a whole forest now. You have a whole forest planted in your backyard. Well, you have like 37 live trees. I've seen them very, it's like a little row that goes up from, you know, from the ground up. You buy a two foot, last year's three foot, you have it up to, what are you, 138, you have 138.
Eddie Brill:Foot tree or something like that?
R. Scott Edwards:Well, I think that the premise of having a live tree is so beautiful and wonderful and yet you're killing it is really brings the comedy to it.
Steve Bruner:That is a 30 year old. I break it out every Christmas just because once a year, whether I like it or not, that's what happened.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, you are looking forward to another. 2024 is going to be an amazing year of entertainment for you. Are you going to be doing your usual cruises and corporates?
Steve Bruner:Yeah. And thanks for bringing that up. Cruises, corporate colleges and a few clubs. Still, still managing to make all the c's in comedy.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, that's right. Casinos, cruises and colleges. There you go.
Steve Bruner:Oh, and club, right?
Eddie Brill:That's right.
Gregg Schwem:Yeah.
Steve Bruner:And clubs. And, and corporate.
R. Scott Edwards:And corporate. They're all you gotta see.
Steve Bruner:Yeah, exactly. Even, you know, listen, I will entertain corpses. What the heck?
R. Scott Edwards:Well, you know what, Steve? When you're doing a cruise, what's, what's one of your opening jokes for your cruise audience?
Gregg Schwem:Listen to you.
Steve Bruner:You're setting me up. So it's like, it's like playing t ball with you. It's wonderful.
Gregg Schwem:You just.
Steve Bruner:And subtle. What's one of your opening cruise? You know, listen, cruising has changed. I think. You've been on a cruise, haven't you?
R. Scott Edwards:A couple, yeah. When we had the travel agency, we loved them.
Steve Bruner:When's the last one you went on? 2020 something or 2018? Would you go on? Because it has changed.
R. Scott Edwards:What's different now, Steve?
Steve Bruner:Well, I'm so glad you asked, Scott. The first day, they have changed it. They've got the, the lifeboat information is now on a video. But it used to be the first day was absolutely the worst day. They'd get everybody on the ship and the first thing they do would be have a lifeboat drill. It'd be welcome aboard, prepare to die. And they wouldn't scare you. They wouldn't stop scaring you there. They dress you up in those fancy life jackets, right?
Gregg Schwem:What color those, you know, bright orange.
Steve Bruner:Bright orange.
Gregg Schwem:Same color as a fishing lure.
Steve Bruner:Now there's some, there's some incentive to make it to the lifeboat, you're not on the little boat and the big boat goes down, you end up being dressed as bait. You are nothing but a bobber. You're out in the middle of the ocean. They give you a little shark attuned whistle. Wee, wee.
Eddie Brill:Here, sharky, sharky, sharky, sharky.
Steve Bruner:That's kind of. That's kind of some of the boat humor I do when I'm on one of the seven seas.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, I just want to thank you for sharing that with the audience. You know, when it comes to the holiday spirit, there's nobody. Nobody is happy, and funny is Steve Bruner. Thanks for joining us on this special holiday show.
Steve Bruner:It is ever a pleasure to speak to you, regardless of the season. In fact, here we are in California. I do not know. You know, we've had some difficult times. We had fires and earthquakes and floods, and I honestly do not know what.
Mack Dryden:To wear for locust season.
Steve Bruner:All right, Scotty, take care. I'll see you in the new year.
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah. Hey, Merry Christmas, Steve, to you and your bride. And thanks so much for being a part of this special show, man.
Steve Bruner:Oh, ever grateful for the friendship and all things Scott.
R. Scott Edwards:You got it. Bye bye.
Steve Bruner:Bye bye.
R. Scott Edwards:Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, this holiday special is going so well. In fact, I just contacted a really good friend. He's out of Louisville, Kentucky. Yeah, he's a stage performer. He's been a television actor, one of the best professional comics. In fact, he was part of the team Mac and Jamie, which was one of the best comedy teams back in the day. You've heard him on the podcast. Now, originally, he was from southern Mississippi, and he turned into a great comic and a great friend of mine. Let's hear it for Mac Dryden. Hey, Mac, thanks for joining us on the holiday special.
Dennis Blair:Thanks, Scott. Happy to be here, buddy. In fact, I'm actually in Mississippi as we speak. My wife and I came down from Louisville to visit my 96 year old mom for a week. So we're happy.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, wow. We would love a little southern holiday cheer.
Dennis Blair:All right, well, I'll tell you one that happened one time. My uncle Leonard and Aunt Winnie live in an old homestead way up in the country. And 1 February, my aunt Winnie was ironing in the living room because Uncle Leonard had a fire going in there. It was kind of cozy. And he was watching football, and so he was. He was, you know, socked in. He was happy.
Eddie Brill:And.
Dennis Blair:And then she looked over in the corner there and saw this hideous Christmas tree that had been gradually disintegrating since you know, well before Christmas. And here it is nearly the end of February, and she said, leonard, I am sick of looking at that tree.
Gregg Schwem:I want you to drag it out.
Dennis Blair:Now, today to the burn pile and.
Eddie Brill:Get rid of it.
Dennis Blair:And she went back to her ironing and Leonard was never a real self motivated go getter, you know?
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah.
Dennis Blair:And so he had an idea and he thought, you know, I'm going to burn it anyway. Well, we've got a fire going in here, so I could just slowly feed it into the fireplace and get rid of it gradually and warm the room at the same time. And of course, he didn't bother to get the more logical and rational aunt Winnie to let her in on his plan. He just suddenly did it.
R. Scott Edwards:Just plow?
Eddie Brill:Yeah.
Dennis Blair:And when he poked the tip of the tree in the thing, nothing slowly happened at all. A raging fireball just, you know, raged up the tree and knocked him backwards and back against, actually, the ironing board. And the iron fell on his, the back of his neck. And Aunt Winnie was alert enough to grab a pile of clothes and go over and knock the fires down. So nothing happened. And so it was okay.
Eddie Brill:Nothing.
R. Scott Edwards:Lose the house, right.
Dennis Blair:Didn't lose the house. She saved the house. But in the summertime, you could always see the improvised tattoo that Uncle Leonard got on the back of his neck. It said madness. Which, of course, is sunbeam in reverse. So he had a souvenir of that.
R. Scott Edwards:Incident forever scarred from the Christmas tree event.
Gregg Schwem:Yes, that was it.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's not only a great story, but a lesson in how not to get rid of an old Christmas tree.
Dennis Blair:Absolutely. Do not try this at home ever.
R. Scott Edwards:No, I was just going to say, Mac, thanks so much for sharing that story. And, you know, I think everybody has somebody in the family that's tried to get rid of a tree. And to. For your uncle to end up permanently scarred with the sunbeam iron is certainly a tribute to the southern holidays. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, this has been Mac Dryden, one of the best in the business and a real good friend of mine. Hey, Mack, happy holidays and thanks for joining us.
Dennis Blair:Thank you, Scott. Happy holidays to all your listeners. Y'all have a good one.
Eddie Brill:Bye.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, that was a fun story from MacBook Dryden about how things might happen in the holiday times in the south, especially if you hold onto your tree way too long. Hey, I wanted to do something special. One of the big thrills of the holidays is the Macy's parade. And what's great is the rockettes come out during the parade, and they do this whole dance routine. And I thought, you know what? Why not have a little dance routine for this great holiday podcast? So, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry I don't have the Rockettes, but I got together some dancers, and I think you'll enjoy. Hit it, guys. Ooh, sorry, guys. Maybe having dancing for a podcast holiday special really didn't work. I'm so sorry. Listeners will tell you what. I'm gonna make it up to you. Let's keep that kind of Christmas holiday spirit going. Oh, man, this has been such a fun holiday special. You could feel the Christmas running through your blood. I have a real treat for everybody out there in podcast land. One of the early acts that we had a chance to work with back when laughs Unlimited first started in 1980, was a very young comic who had just escaped from Russia and ended up being fame and fortune. Now he's a doctor, and I have him here for the special. Yaakov, you had a great story about Christmas in Russia where your dad had done something special with the tree. But then I think you also have a story about your first Christmas in America. Ladies and gentlemen, let me welcome Doctor Yaakov Smirnoff. Hey, Yaakov. Merry Christmas.
Mack Dryden:Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too. I'm so glad to be able to share this. Most people are not aware probably, that in the Soviet Union, they didn't celebrate Christmas because it was a religious holiday and religion was outlawed there. So they changed all the traditions of Christmas. That was, you know, in. In the old days, they changed it to New Year's, and they called it instead of Santa Claus, it was father frost, and it was New Year's tree, not a Christmas tree. And, yeah, they changed it. And so I grew up, you know, celebrating New Year's but not Christmas. But my dad was an inventor, and he created a Christmas tree stand, which is like, you know, for. At that time, for New Year's. But it was still something unique that would have the trees rotate and the lights on the tree would blink on and off and on and off. And it. And we were the only family with blinking lights in the whole Soviet Union. The problem was that. The problem was that device made all the light in the entire apartment building blink on and off. And. Yeah. And my mom was really nervous about us being reported to the KGB because, you know, we were. I mean, it looks like we were sending Morse code messages in the middle of the night to some foreign countries. So my mom was mad at my dad for doing this, but it was, you know, gave me that desire that I someday want to experience the Christmas. And when we came to America, and we just. We got here a couple of few days before Christmas, and we found a tiny apartment in tech in the Bronx. Area was run down pretty much because we didn't have any money. We were kind of hoping to have a Christmas tree, but we didn't have money. And we were not knowing how to celebrate it either. And so. And surprisingly, it's like we knew about Santa Claus. We knew that Santa brings gifts and stuff, but we didn't know anybody around us. And then we hear the knock on the door. And it was the manager of the building that gave us the opportunity to rent this apartment, because only the apartment was $240. And misses Landau gave us that apartment. We only had $50. So she paid the difference out of her own pocket and gave us our first home in America. So that was the first gift that we got for Christmas. And then she told the tenants of the building that we just arrived and we could use some help. And this was 46 years ago, but in my mind at night, this is clear as it happened last night. We're sitting in our suitcase and we hear that knock on the door. And we got scared because it could have been the KGB, or even worse, the Avon lady, and because they were trained by the KGB. So very, very timidly, I opened the door, and my heart overwhelmed with joy, because I saw Miss Orlando standing there, smiling. And behind her, if you can imagine, the whole hallway and the stairway going up and down was packed with the tenants of that building. And they were holding things in their hands. And I'm thinking, these people are so poor, they don't even have a place to set their things down. So. So I opened the door, and this, you know, she said, I'd like you to meet your neighbors. And these kind people were rushing into our apartment, and they were hating us. Things, gifts. I never met them before. And they were giving us food, furniture, clothing, pillows, blankets, dishes, things we did not have and desperately needed. And all they were saying, ho, ho, ho, welcome home. And I'm realizing these people are like Santa Claus. Who are. And they were. Some people were. A nurse was in her outfit. And I think the guy. Another guy was like a garbage man, and another one, the policeman. And they were all giving us those things. And they were giving us things. We didn't even know what they wore. Like a waffle iron. I didn't know what it was. My mom didn't know what it was. She ruined two pair of my pants. They gave us our first real american breakfast. English muffin, french toast, canadian bacon.
Gregg Schwem:All.
Mack Dryden:From international House of Pancakes, you know, and they gave us a bodybuilding shampoo, and I didn't know what it was, so I drank two bottles. So. And the reason I wanted to tell you this story, because at that moment, I realized that in this most wonderful nation on earth, there's a little bit of real Santa Claus in every american. That was my takeaway.
R. Scott Edwards:Wow. Oh, Yaakov, thanks so much for sharing that. You know, I had heard the story previously about your dad doing this ingenious thing that rotated the whole tree. Instead of, like, a light shining on it, the whole tree rotated and set up electrodes so that the lights would flash. That was an incredible story about the holidays in Russia. But this first Christmas with the neighbors giving you gifts and food and a waffle iron, I mean, how much more american could that be?
Eddie Brill:Yes. Yes.
R. Scott Edwards:That. What a great introduction to your new home and country.
Eddie Brill:Yes.
R. Scott Edwards:Wow. That. That makes Christmas that much more special. Yaakov, thanks so much for sharing these two special moments in your life about Christmas and the holidays. And next time I think of Russia, it won't be merry Christmas. It'll be happy new year.
Mack Dryden:There you go. No, not anymore. Not anymore. Christmas is there. So it's. It's a different, different scenario anymore. But I wish everybody the most wonderful Christmas. And that spirit that America has, that Santa Claus spirit, don't ever, ever lose that.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, that's a great sentiment. Well, thank you, Yaakov. Ladies and gentlemen, originally from Russia, but now a proud american doctor, Yaakov Smirnov. Thanks, Yaakov.
Mack Dryden:My pleasure. Thank you, Scott.
R. Scott Edwards:Hey, everybody. I hope you're enjoying this Christmas special as much as I am bringing it to you. It's just amazing. It's like having holly going through my veins. So much Christmas positivity and fun. Well, I want to continue that with somebody that's famous on this podcast and famous in his own mind, a terrific stand up comic, my good friend Bruce baby, man bomb. Hey, Bruce. Happy holidays, Scott.
Eddie Brill:And a big happy holidays to you.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, thanks so much for being a part of the show. What do you have for my audience?
Eddie Brill:Well, I was hoping I could share a holiday tale that's been passed down in my family from generation to generation in my head. Okay, so here we go. A little Christmas. There you go. Very good.
Mack Dryden:Okay.
Eddie Brill:It was the night after Christmas, and all through the house, a locker room victory celebration was happening, and you can hear it from Milwaukee to Laos. There's not a whole lot of words that rhyme with house. The elves were wearing their whites year allowed formal wear, Santa, his yearly dawn cock, hawaiian shirt and black bicycle pants. All the north pole locals were invited in an attendance. This was before there was a misses Claus. So sometimes things got dicey and messy until the elves shook off their hangovers. As the townsfolk and elves danced and drank and told new Christmas tales from the night before, a young lady caught Santa's eye. Lydia, a recent tundra transplant, mesmerized the young Santa. Lydia stood 7ft tall and traced through life with a small band of nomadic pygmies beneath her hemline. She titillated them to the extent that she, in essence, became their bite viper, and they followed her wherever she went, doing her bidding. A horny, roving family of lusting parasites and their queen. Every now and then she would summon one into her tent of indulgence, commanding the others to loudly play outside so nothing could be heard coming from inside her nasty canvas lair. Santa thundered over and asked Lydia to dance, chewing away her tiny, admiring subject. She accepted. Santa and Lydia danced the night away into the morning. They drank, they talked, they took a walk and talked some more. The next day, Santa married Lydia, who became, and still is, misses Claus. Her nomadic pygmies were deputized and sworn in as elves, and they are all living happily together. And so goes another bomb's fairy tale.
R. Scott Edwards:Only you could bring Christmas in such a powerful way. Bruce, that was a great story.
Eddie Brill:I just tried to capture the holiday spirit in a nutshell without using well.
R. Scott Edwards:With the music underneath and that great family story that's been passed down for generations. Thank you so much for sharing that.
Eddie Brill:My pleasure.
Gregg Schwem:And a happy everything.
Eddie Brill:And a happy holiday season to everyone.
R. Scott Edwards:Hey, thanks a lot, Bruce. Happy holidays. Or, I'm sorry, I should say, oh, hey, the Christmas special is going along well. I hope you guys are all enjoy listening to these great stories and things about the holiday season. I have a great, really good friend of mine, long time regular at the clubs. He's done specialty shows for me. What's really unique about our next entertainer is that he was born and raised in Hawaii and has that kind of hawaiian hook to his comedy. You may have heard him on my podcast a few times, but here he is live on the phone. Ladies and gentlemen, Kermit appeal. Hey, Kermit. Happy holidays.
Bruce Baum:Hi, Scott. Happy holidays to you. It's great to be back.
R. Scott Edwards:Hey, it's, it's nice to have you back. We're putting together this kind of celebration of the holidays. And I know that you live up in Seattle now, but you spent a lot of your youth in Hawaii. What was it like celebrating? Oh, wait, wait a minute. It's Melee. Kaliki maka. No, you tell me what's merry Christmas in Hawaiian?
Bruce Baum:That's right. You got it. It's Mele kaliki baka. And yeah, it's a little different, you know, because a white Christmas in Hawaii basically means that drugs are involved. So it's not the same.
R. Scott Edwards:It's a little bit different, isn't it? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Hey, here's some cocaine. Okay.
Bruce Baum:Yeah, it is a bit different. And so I wanted to tell you this story about, when I was a kid, we used to have this tradition where all the. All the cousins would be brought to one of the houses, right? And it is from the beginning. It's a story that just has so many holes in it and you'll see why. So we'd be hanging out. Then all of a sudden a cab would pull up and Santa would step out of the backseat of the cab. It is the funniest thing because there's no. There's no documentation, no tv show, no special, no song that talks about Santa getting out of a cab. It's just not in the folklore. Right.
R. Scott Edwards:Never heard that before. No.
Bruce Baum:Right. So even from the beginning, it's a story that it's a situation that just has a bunch of holes in it. So Santa gets out of the cab, he says, ho, ho, ho. He waves, and he comes walking up the driveway and somewhere between the cab and the driveway. And by the way, it's. At this point, as a kid, you're kind of wondering, well, where are the reindeer? Where's anything? This is all odd. So by the time Santa gets from the cab to the door, he's now got a garbage bag full of presents. Now, once again, nothing in the. In the folklore, the tv shows, the song says Santa bringing his garbage bag up to the house.
R. Scott Edwards:Right?
Bruce Baum:There's no, there's no, like, it paints.
R. Scott Edwards:This image of the yellow cab, the garbage bag over the shoulder. And for our listeners in Hawaii in December, it's probably, what, 82 degrees?
Bruce Baum:Yes.
R. Scott Edwards:Pretty nice.
Bruce Baum:Yes, it's 82 and humid. Right. And so, yeah, so he's got this, the garbage bag, which. And the only way that's going to happen is, like, if hefty sponsors, you know, the Christmas show or something, you know, but it's. So he's got this. So he's got this garbage bag. He comes to the door, and everybody's all excited. And like I said, still, there's a lot of holes in it. So the one thing that does check, though, he's pouring with sweat. Every year. I remember that the Santa was pouring with sweat and sometimes breathing hard. And I get it. You live in the North Pole, and here you are in hope in Hawaii. That part I understood. He'd come in, and it just seemed like every year it was the same thing. Have you all been good kids? And, and we all say the obligatory, yes, we have. You know, and even though a few cousins really, honestly weren't.
R. Scott Edwards:Little, Timmy got in a little trouble. But.
Bruce Baum:Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's some delinquents in the making in that group, I will say. And so, okay, so he starts reaching in, and we're all excited. And so you're suspending a lot of disbelief, right? The cab, the hefty bag, everything. The fact that he's there, the fact that he's. He's in your house, because apparently he's supposed to come at night. And so I guess in our, in our kid mind, we're thinking, well, Hawaii doesn't have chimneys, so there's really no way to sneak in. So he just has to show up during the day. That's kind of what we thought, you know. Right. Because houses don't have chimneys there.
R. Scott Edwards:It's daytime. Not even nighttime, all that stuff.
Bruce Baum:Yeah, but. But we don't have chimneys, so there's really no way to do the sneak. He can't. He can't do his job correctly in Hawaii, because the few rich houses that had chimneys, it was basically made. I don't know how to explain this. They make it to look like chimneys. Like they're not. They're not hollow. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?
R. Scott Edwards:Right, right, right. You know, there's. There's no fireplaces in Hawaii, ladies and.
Bruce Baum:Right, right. And, uh, if they are, they look silly and they're just decorative. They're not real. So. So that was our logic there. So he starts to bring out the, uh, the present. And for the cousins that had hawaiian names, he would always mispronounce the names, right? How do you not know their name? Like, you brought these. You made these gifts, you had. You had the elves make them. How do you not know our names? Or how do you. How are you mispronouncing the names? And then the other thing that would happen specifically to me is that the Santa would look at my present and go, Kermit. And go, huh? Kermit. As if he didn't know there was a kid in this batch named Kermit, like, this is the first time he's finding it out. And it happened every year.
R. Scott Edwards:Every year, he's shocked.
Bruce Baum:Yes. Every year he's shocked, like, oh, this kid must get teased. But you should know that, Santa, you're aware of me, apparently, right? You know, if I've been bad or good, he would. He would, um. He would hand out presents. Nailing the english names. Nailing them. Just getting John.
R. Scott Edwards:Right. And.
Bruce Baum:And Tammy. Right. You know, and then. And then messing up the other ones. But we were kind of like, okay, but we're still getting presents. And we would. So we would all sit there, open the presents, and every once in a while, he would sort of comment about the presents as if he didn't know what was like. He would say something like, oh, you like. Oh, you like hot wheels? Do you like hot wheels? Like, well, you should know that, Santa.
R. Scott Edwards:So what's interesting is that every child has this image that is pounded into our head through movies and tv. And yet, in Hawaii, your experience is moment by moment, contradictive to the whole story.
Bruce Baum:Right, right. But. But the. And you're absolutely right. That's what I'm saying. The whole thing doesn't check out. And any level of cynicism in a kid would tell you this. Something's going on here. Right? I mean, he didn't have the trash bag when he got out of the cab, but he did. When he got to the door, something happened. Right, but. But what happens is the thing that sells the whole thing, the thing that closes the deal, is that with all those question marks that you have, he gets the presence. Right. He brought us what we asked for so we could kind of overlook everything else. You know what I mean? Like, if you get the present, kid.
R. Scott Edwards:With the new gift, that was exactly what they're asking for, tends to wash over all the taxi cab and the garbage bag.
Bruce Baum:Yes. The ends justifies the means if I get what I wanted. Right.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, I'm sure you had plenty of good christmases in Hawaii.
Bruce Baum:Oh, it was. It was a great place to have Christmas. You know, there's. There's a whole. There are albums full of Hawaiian Christmas, you know, music and everything, where there are the remakes of the songs, you know? But there's also some songs unique to. To Hawaii, but. And. Yeah. And it's. It's a. It's a great place to have Christmas, but. But I just. I just remember these, uh, the Santa Claus in a cab thing. Was, was to me, when I, when I look back on it as an adult, it would just make me laugh every time I thought about it.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, Kirby. Well, thanks for sharing the inconsistencies around the world, and we really appreciate you sharing that story with our holiday audience. And, uh. Oh, shoot. You say it. Merry Christmas.
Bruce Baum:It's Mele Kaliki maka is. And best, best wishes to, yeah, best wishes to you and your family and your listeners. And thank you so much when you always have me on. I appreciate it.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, my pleasure. And appreciate you bringing such a fun family story to the holiday special. Ladies and gentlemen, kermit appeal. Thanks, buddy.
Bruce Baum:Thank you.
R. Scott Edwards:Wow. This has been such a fun special. The holiday spirit is flowing. It's so exciting. And I wanted to keep the energy high. So what did I do? I reached out to my good friend, one of the top comics out of the San Francisco Bay area. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Larry Bubbles Brown.
Tim Bedore:When you think of Christmas and fun, you think of Larry Bubbles Brown.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, I gotta tell you, we've had a chance to work together for a number of years, and you were telling me a story back when you were working my clubs in the early eighties that you had a shot at the Tonight show. What? Tell me the holiday twist to that, Larry.
Tim Bedore:Okay. I'd only been doing comedy for three years, and then suddenly I get approached by the guy that booked the Tonight show. We're going over my set in Burbank.
R. Scott Edwards:And that's Jim McCauley, right?
Gregg Schwem:Jim McCall.
Tim Bedore:Yeah, he had, and I'd seen right before he introduced himself to me. There was a big article in the think section in the San Francisco Chronicle about he was the gatekeeper, the Tonight show, and what a powerful position that was. And, and we should say the Tonight show back then. I think it's right now they get about a million viewers. Back then, Johnny Carson was getting 17 to 20 million.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, no. The Tonight show with Johnny Carson was unbeatable. In fact, it made the careers of people like Ray Romano, Jerry Seinfeld and Shanling so many people. It was a very powerful show for comedy.
Rick Allen:Wow.
R. Scott Edwards:Larry, I didn't know that you got a chance to meet with Macaulay.
Tim Bedore:Yeah, yeah, three and three years in was pretty early to get that. So we go over the set, he goes, he saw me one more time. He said, you're not quite ready. Come down and do it again. I came down, this is in November.
R. Scott Edwards:And there's about 1984, right? 85.
Tim Bedore:Yes.
R. Scott Edwards:Awesome.
Tim Bedore:Like that November 1 night was a Thursday, 1984. November 1. And I'm watching. And it was, I'm watching the other comics before me and everyone's bombing, and I wasn't even thinking, I'm not gonna bomb. But I just, I just wanted to look good. And I went up and I had a bad set, and so I'm not feeling real great. And then the week before Christmas.
R. Scott Edwards:Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're kind of rushing through the story, Larry. So you got a chance to showcase, everybody was bombing. You knew you could do better, and you didn't.
Tim Bedore:I didn't.
Gregg Schwem:Right.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, geez. And those showcases for McCauley were so important to a career. But, yeah, three years in, that's really quick.
Tim Bedore:Yeah. So I was, you know, I was looking back on it. I really wasn't ready for that show. But I grew up with Johnny Carson. I always dreamed of doing that show. So it was just such a dream. And it all just collapsed on that one night.
R. Scott Edwards:And you said you had a meeting with him and did. What was it like being at NBC studios?
Tim Bedore:Oh, I'm sitting there in his office and Ed McMahon at one point came, stuck his head in and.
R. Scott Edwards:No, Ed McMahon.
Tim Bedore:Yeah.
Rick Allen:Wow.
R. Scott Edwards:That's like the sidekick to Johnny that nobody will ever forget.
Tim Bedore:It was so exciting. And this is the day that everything went right. And I went. So he goes through my set and he goes, work on this and come back in a month, and we'll see you again. So a friend, Jeremy Kramer, I don't know if you remember him.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, yeah, Jeremy's a funny guy.
Tim Bedore:So I was booked at the Holy City zoo that night. So Jeremy takes me to the Burbank airport. There's a plane there. You just walk in. The plane was, there's a plane in San Francisco. In 15 minutes. I get on that, I fly up to San Francisco. I make, I make it in time to do the holy city zoo. And as I walk to the holy city zoo, somebody walks after me and said, you're quoted in Penthouse magazine. I said, what do you mean? And he said, yeah, go. Somebody ran down to 711, got penthouse, and there was this page called the 20 greatest jokes ever said about sex. And they, all these famous people, like Woody Allen and then Joan Rivers, and suddenly one of my jokes, and they gave me credit. So just everything went right that day.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, my gosh. You were posted as one of the best jokes in Penthouse, like one of.
Tim Bedore:The best 24 hours of my life.
R. Scott Edwards:I mean, what an incredible moment in your comedy career in just three years in. That's incredible, Larry. Yeah, well, this is a very positive.
Tim Bedore:All in one day. And then I remember the Holy City zoo, which had been changed to the haha. Go, go. I think might have been one of their first opening weekends. And I remember they changed the acoustics and I was actually killing so hard. I was actually getting annoyed that they were laughing that loud.
R. Scott Edwards:Hey, quit laughing. You're interrupting my pace, hurting my ears. Oh, that's so funny. Well, it sounds like a great uplifting holiday story. You were doing.
Tim Bedore:So great uplifting holiday. Then November I go back and this is if I do a good set. I got the Tonight show and there's all these really good comic. I remember Rick Dukeman, he was a really good comic. He went on, he bombed. And everybody, it was not a good crowd, everybody's bombing. And I went up and I pretty much did the same thing. And I think that pretty much ended my approach to the Tonight show.
R. Scott Edwards:So after this really exciting moment in November, you go back in December and you bomb with everybody else. And Jim McCauley wouldn't take your calls after that?
Tim Bedore:No, pretty much, yeah.
R. Scott Edwards:And then you come to work for me at the Birdcage club in Christmas.
Tim Bedore:Yes. Rob Becker. And I think that you remember a guy named Glenn super.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh yeah, Glenn super was Mister Bullhorn.
Tim Bedore:Yeah, he was the headliner.
R. Scott Edwards:Wow. So you took all that great energy from November. In December you go and do the showcase and absolutely bomb. And to celebrate, you came and played my club, the birdcage right before the holidays. You must have been in such an upbeat mood.
Tim Bedore:It was not, it was probably the worst Christmas of my life. Although the show we had a birdcage, I think went well, as I recall.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, well, that's good. So, so you were somewhat holiday depressed based on going from a high moment in your career to crashing and burning. And then you shared that with my audience. What a special moment. Larry, thanks for sharing that story.
Tim Bedore:Yeah, I look back at that story and wonder if I had gotten a night show, maybe I would have bond on tv and that would have probably been suicidal. Probably a good thing.
R. Scott Edwards:Merry Christmas. Here's a razor blade. Well, Larry, I thank you for sharing the Tonight show story for my holiday audience. I wish you good holiday greetings.
Mack Dryden:You too.
Tim Bedore:And we can wrap some tinsel around that story.
R. Scott Edwards:Wow, thanks so much, Larry. Talk to you soon.
Tim Bedore:See you soon, buddy.
R. Scott Edwards:We're getting so many great stories in comedy bits. This has been so much fun. Hey, right now I have one of my best friends in the business. He's from Florida where he settled, but he worked for my club many, many years. Please welcome my good friend, Bruce Smirnov. Hey, happy holidays, Bruce.
Steve Bruner:Hey, Scott. Thank you so much for having me. May I. May I talk to your audience for a moment? May I have their time?
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, well, sure. It's. It's. It's the season of giving. Go for it.
Steve Bruner:Okay. Well, I want to show you a cycle. You know, that people don't normally talk about cycles. Well, I'm now 66 years old, and I am retired, and I'm. Right now I'm in my garden. It's very boring, I know, but it has a point. And I'm gardening and I'm sweating. And then you called me and asked me to say something. So if you're listening, there's many cycles of life. I'm reaching maybe the second to last chapter, but my first cycle was when I wanted to be a comedian. I started when I was 18 years old. Wasn't that good? Really, the first time I really felt good about myself. I was living in Los Angeles when I got my first road gig. And that was at your club, Scott laughs unlimited at what, the Delta Queen? Is that where it was that time?
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah. Good memory.
Steve Bruner:And I went in there, and for the first time in my life, I was on at a good time, not
Steve Bruner: last, you know, like at 02:00 in
Steve Bruner:the morning. And a receptive audience because America had not really been used to comedy clubs. You're one of the first leaders of the comedy club industry, and that was it. And I always remember that. And I remember, I think I went to Sacramento while you were there. Over the course of, let's say, I'd say about 96. So from 81 to 96, I can't even count, seriously. But the great times I had are just wonderful, and I want to thank you for it. All the encouragement, because we need when we start out, we're very insecure people, and all the encouragement that we can get is what helps us continue. And you were. You were great. You were like a cheerleader for everybody. And some of the biggest names in show business made their start at lapse Unlimited. And you cannot get them on the phone. They want nothing to do with you anymore. I take the call because I'm retired. I have nothing. But these guys, they're multi. Multi. If you even mention the name Scott Edwards ago, never heard of him. Is he on what the FBI watches list? Is that what they're looking for for him? I never heard of the guy. But me, I have time to plot. Playing with the kitty cats now I'm planting another tree. I got all the time in the world for you because I got nothing to do and I'm retired.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, you're retired. You're in Florida. Thank you for the kind words before the nice insult.
Steve Bruner:You know where I learned that from? I learned that from Jackie Mason.
Gregg Schwem:Great.
Steve Bruner:In my opinion, one of the top five stand up comedians ever. And if you are a comedy buff listening, listen to his. Listen to his interviews, which are really interesting. But his stand up, it's called circular reasoning. So you start off happy about something, and you slowly let the hands of a clock move it slowly so the audience doesn't see it. And when you come up to the 55 mark, that's when you pull the punch like I did. So a little lesson in life and a lesson in comedy.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, Jackie Mason was one of the greatest, but God would be great. So you're down in Florida. What will you be doing to celebrate the holidays or put up a tree?
Steve Bruner:What are we talking about? Is this. Is this your Christmas? We're doing this in June, and you want your Christmas message? All right, in June. I'm not planning anything for the holidays. In Christmas, I'm jewish, so the holiday is a different kind of a holiday. But it's like when you're retired and you live in a beautiful community. I'm walking around my backyard. Nothing. Just gorgeous here. One day you'll come with Jill and pay a visit. You'll see that, you know, every day is Christmas. How's that sound? You have your health, and you have a nice place to live, and you have friends around you. You got everything. So that's. That's how you celebrate. Well, you don't need one day.
R. Scott Edwards:That is a great way to look at life. Every day is a gift. When it comes to Hanukkah, uh, you know, you probably have your own traditions.
Steve Bruner:But I know about as much as Hanukkah as I know about Christmas. So I put them on equal, equal things. I'm one of those, uh, you know, I'm just a waif out here. You know, I believe in God. But the ceremonies, when you're a comedian, that's the thing. When you got to drop everything, it's so funny. That's why a lot of these guys, unfortunately, their marriages don't work because little Jimmy Joe's got to graduate high school. The agent calls the comic and says, look, you got to be ex gig or they're not going to book you anymore. And they usually choose between your career, which can be disruptive, but yes.
R. Scott Edwards:So what you're saying is that it was tough to really settle into the holidays when you're always on the road.
Steve Bruner:Anything. Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, and Christmas was a great time because a lot of comedians would not work on Christmas. So that opened the door for the ones that weren't as experienced.
R. Scott Edwards:Bruce Murdoff was there.
Steve Bruner:I was there, baby. Every Christmas somewhere I had some great, I can remember cities that I was in during Christmas because, you know, a place shuts down. So I can remember, you know, like being, you know, in Salt Lake City or etc. You know, places that were completely not moving and grooving. But then I remember being down in Florida where there's a big mix of people and some great christmases.
Eddie Brill:So.
Steve Bruner:Yeah.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, well, thanks.
Steve Bruner:What are you going to be, what are you doing? What are you doing for Christmas, Scott?
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, you know, we always get the family together. We have the feast. We do the gifts with the kids. It's a little different with the kids are older now. I kind of miss having the young ones around.
Steve Bruner:Why don't you invite me to your home for Christmas?
R. Scott Edwards:We could do that kind of Hanukkah Christmas mix. It'll be fun.
Steve Bruner:There's no mix. We don't need a mix. Just have me just say, bruce, why don't you come to my house?
R. Scott Edwards:That would be my gift.
Steve Bruner:Say it right now.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, Bruce, hey, come on over for Christmas.
Steve Bruner:There's not a shot in the world that I'm coming. I'm retired. I don't even get on planes anymore to evacuate. That's it. It's over. But I might so be with you. I did that again to set you up. Anyway, happy holidays to your viewer, your listening audience. Are you, are you on tube now or you just.
R. Scott Edwards:No, just audio. And the listeners appreciate hearing from the very funny Bruce Mirnoff. And we're glad that things are going so well for you down in Florida, Scott. Happy New Year.
Steve Bruner:Merry Christmas, everybody.
R. Scott Edwards:All right, thanks, Bruce.
Steve Bruner:All right, Scott.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, man, we are having so much fun, and sadly, it's about to come to an end. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, our 2023 holiday special is about to end. But I couldn't finish up without bringing into the entertainment fun one of my best friends in the business. You've heard him many, many times on the podcast. Why? Because he's a funny guy out of Wisconsin. It's Tim Beadore. You'll recognize that name is, he's a regular on Bob and Tom's radio show. And he's the man behind Vague but true, the very funny vignettes, all stand up comedy. Comedy based. Well, tell you what, he put together something special for this holiday show that we're going to start right now. And I have a special surprise for you right after. Okay, here comes, ladies and gentlemen, the very funny Tim Beador. And for this Christmas, vague but true.
Rick Allen:Here he is, a philosopher, a writer, a comedian, a man who introduces himself, the host of vague but true, Tim Beadour. Well, thank you very much. As a life coach and spiritual guru, my help is most needed during this, the Christmas holiday season. Why? If you're like me, a man, you really don't like shopping and stink on ice at gift giving. But gift giving, the purchasing of Christmas presents must be done if you want to be a good american and stay married. More on that later. The Christmas shopping season accounts for over 30% of yearly retail sales in America. And for that, the american business community says, praise Jesus. Praise that sweet baby Jesus. Too little is said about Jesus and his impact on the business world. But when Jesus turned a few fishes and loaves into enough to feed the masses, he wasn't just performing a miracle, he was showing retailers how keeping your overhead low drives up profits. Business is the business of America, and every holiday season I want to do my part for the american economy. But Christmas gift giving has always been a nightmare for me. I'm very good at gift getting, but at gift giving, I stink anyway, according to those who I give gifts. Well, my wife thinks I stink at gift giving. One Christmas before Karen and I were married, I gave her an urn. Some of you may be asking, why did I give a woman I was hoping to marry an urn? Well, I was in a funky shop and saw this funky thing. Didn't know what it was, but it was cool and unique looking. So Karen got and opened in front of her whole family on Christmas Eve. What turned out to be an urn, which the store didn't have the decency to label as an urn. Just three letters, urn. Not much effort. Help me out a little bit here or put a warning sticker on it. Don't buy this urn unless you know someone who was recently deceased or on the way. After decades of gift giving failure, we just gave up. Karen now buys herself something and then I wrap it up. It's just the safest way to go because I never want to see that look on her face again that I just got an urn look. Apparently I never got the memo or lessons on gift giving. In my twenties, I gave my then girlfriend Mary a sewing machine for Christmas. She had mentioned when she was younger she loved to sew. So for Christmas I got her a sewing machine. And when she opened it, she said, never give a woman an appliance on Christmas. You give the woman in your life something as associated with emotion. I said, you told me you love to sew. She said, but I'm not twelve anymore. And I said, when I was twelve, I love to play baseball. And if I open your present to me and it's a baseball glove and bat, I'm very happy. That's an emotion. It's not just gift giving. Christmas itself makes me anxious. When I was four years old, my brother Tom convinced me to go explore the attic. I didn't want to explore the attic. Evil things live up in the attic. But even at age four, boys are so aware of the whole macho male thing. So I said, nothing scares pre kindergarten, man. Lets go to the attic. We opened the door to the attic and a dead bat fell right at our feet. And it had that horrible frozen dead bat look in its face. And when youre four years old, youre only 3ft tall and your face is very close to the floor where the dead bat face is, its facial proximity to evil that is most frightening. The closer your face is to evil, the more scary it is. Anyway, Tom takes a piece of Christmas wrapping paper that was there on the attic steps because my mom never wanted to go up there because of all the evil things living up there. So she just puts stuff on the steps. Tom takes some Christmas wrapping paper and scoops up the dead bat and we go outside to bury it. But first Tom starts chasing me around the yard with the dead bat. He's knocking it up against my heels. I'm screaming, and you can't really run at that age. Your bones aren't even hard yet. You're just a little flesh bag rolling around in a panic, screaming. I'm trying to run away and looking back and all I can see is that dead bat face next to a happy Santa Claus face on the Christmas wrapping paper. So every Christmas when you see Santa and are filled with joy and togetherness and warmth, I'm seeing the wings of death. Thanks, Tom. Plus, when I was little, my mom used to bake a birthday cake for the baby Jesus. And we would not only present the cake to our nativity scene, but then we'd actually sing happy birthday to the baby Jesus figurine in the nativity scene. I can distinctly remember thinking, if this ceramic baby Jesus doesn't come to life, crawl out of the manger, walk across the straw in cotton balls. My mom put in the nativity scene to represent snow that fell in the judean desert. We lived in Wisconsin, so there's always snow at Christmas. And I guess that's why my mom cotton balls snowbanks into the nativity scene at Christmas in the Middle east. Anyway, if Jesus doesn't animate and blow out the candle on this cake, if that doesn't happen, I'm growing up in a family of druids. We're singing happy birthday to a ceramic figurine with a chip in its foot. Baby Jesus was missing a few toes. It was all very disconcerting for me. Things got a little better when our daughter was born because then Christmas becomes all about your kids. And my daughter is just to this day, so easy to shop for because she wants everything she always has. Here is a recording of my daughter at the age of four or five looking through a Christmas catalog and picking out what she might want from Santa. Here is what she said. And it just kept going on. Every single thing in the catalog, 150 different items. She wanted every one of them. I mean, she just didn't stop. So I can't go wrong with her all these years later. She still likes whatever I get her because she still pretty much wants. But enough about me for you young guys out there, here's a little bit of life coach advice. Don't get your girlfriend, fiance, wife and appliance for Christmas. That's for starters. And while you may want to go unique and take a chance on getting her an outside the box gift, I caution against it, especially if she's going to be opening it in front of her family. If you do screw up every year afterwards on Christmas Eve, you run the risk of getting what I get every year from Karens family as they wonder aloud what gift giving mistake ive made this year after the traditional retelling of the story of the urn, oh, much laughter at my expense. Be safe. Get her a scarf or jewelry. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes. Im Tim Beador on Scott Edwards, your host and MC podcast.
R. Scott Edwards:That was Tim Bedor with his very special, vague but true for our holiday show. Thanks, Tim. Hey, to everybody out there, a very merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy Hanukkah. Whatever you're celebrating, we hope that you and your family are doing well. Oh, and hey, I said I had something special for you. Remember back during Larry bubbles Brown little bit of our show he talked about making penthouse magazines top 25 sex jokes back in the eighties. So here it is. Just imagine Larry Bubbles Brown, mister excitement himself, sharing this joke. What was the most romantic thing you heard after sex? Are you sure you're not a copy? Oh, wow. I can't believe that that made Penthouse magazine's top 25 sexiest jokes. But hey, it was the eighties and a crazy time, and it was nice of Larry to share that material with me. All right, hey, there's a lot of things going on. There's a new newsletter out for this podcast. If you get a chance, sign up for it. Got some great information to keep you up to date on the podcast. Also, I have a new app out. It's on all Apple phones and Android phones, and it's for my network, stand up comedy podcast network, where there's 18 different podcasts, blogs, videos, all kinds of fun stuff about stand up comedy. And that's a free app, so be sure to download it on your phone. And ladies and gentlemen, as we go into 2024, not only do I want to wish you health and happiness, but remember to always smile and go through the year with a laugh. Thanks for joining us. Happy holidays. We hope you enjoyed this episode of stand up comedy. Your host in MC for information on the show, merchandise and our sponsors, or to send comments to Scott, visit our website at www.standupyourhostandmc.com. look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand up comedy. Visit a comedy showroom near.
