Cash Levy & Tom McTigue "Standup Comedy Live on Stage" Show #242

Two great standup comics perform on this weeks show...Cash Levy and Tom McTigue. Cash has a way with audiences and uses high energy comedy and finds the funny in flying and skydiving...you will enjoy this!
Then Tom McTigue shares a Romance novel with an audience, and with great voice inflections and energy, makes the romance novel come alive...in a very funny way. This is a fun show, Please enjoy, laugh, and Share!

Transcript

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Scott Edwards 0:01

Hey everybody, before I start this week's podcast, I had some great news to share with you. By the way, thanks for listening. We hope you're enjoying these shows. Right now, I want to share some big news. I just launched a brand new video podcast. That's right, a video podcast on YouTube and Spotify. If you get a chance, check it out. It's called the Tag Team Talent Podcast. The Tag Team Talent Podcast. And it shares videos of some amazing talent from all around the world. And if you have talent and you want to share it on this podcast, check out the website www.tagteamtalentsearch.com. All right, thanks for listening to this message. And here's this week's podcast.

Announcer 0:51

This is another episode of Stand-Up Comedy, your host and MC, celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business. Stories, interviews, and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC, Scott Edwards.

Scott Edwards 1:08

Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. We have some great stand-up comedy for you this week. We hope you're enjoying yourselves with all these great interviews and comedy sets. I've been doing this for a little over five years, and it's just such a joy to keep reliving and sharing this great comedy with everybody. Thanks for joining us on this journey. All right, this week we have two tremendous comics coming up later on. One of our podcast and life favorites, Tom McTeague. He's done several movies. He was on the TV show Baywatch. More importantly, he was one of the best stand-up comics in the industry. We got a short little set that's very funny from him coming up in just a few minutes. But before that, a young man that is uh terrific on stage, great with audiences, and just a damn funny guy. He's out of the uh LA area, but he works all across the country, tremendously funny. He's done a lot of TV, but nothing you'll probably remember. But he is famous for being on this podcast many times because he is one of the funniest guys out there. So that is Cash Levy. So sit back, relax. Here's a stand-up comedy show coming up later on, Tom McTeague, and right now the comedy of Cash Levy.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

But I always have a good time here. I think more than any other place, though, this sort of thing happens to me here. Someone today tried to hit me up for some smokes when I was walking down the street. He's like, hey, dude, got some smokes. Got some smokes, dude? Got some lights? Got some smokes. I'm like, no, I'm not a smoker, but apparently you are. Maybe you should buy some freaking cigarettes. How come smokers never have smokes? It's a simple habit. You know you're a smoker. Buy the necessary accoutrements. All you need is smokes and lights. You always are lacking one or the other. You don't see this problem with other addictions. You don't see people going, dude, can you score me a roulette wheel? I don't want to shock anyone here though. Some of the people in this town smoke marijuana. I know it's shocking. I know you may not have heard about it, but somebody came up to me after the show last night, total stranger. He's like, hey dude, want to get stoned? Let's flame a ball. Let's go. Let's flame it up. Flame a ball. Flame it up. Shit. Forgot my doobage. Let's smoke yours. What kind of hospitality is that? That's like going, hey dude, want to go sailing? Got a boat. Flimaboo. I never heard that expression before. Total stranger.

SPEAKER_05 4:11

Flamma-boo!

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Is that what they say here in town? Look at him. Yeah. Flima boo! Maybe you're not understanding how funny this is. Imagine there you are standing. Total stranger wanders up. Flamma boo! Let's go! Flam it up! Shit! That doesn't happen very often at church. All I'm saying is I rarely do a joke twice unless it's funny. I didn't know what it meant. I thought it was some kind of ceramics expression. I don't know what it was. Alright, dude, go get the pottery. Let's go. Let's flamm it.

SPEAKER_05 5:00

Flip it up!

SPEAKER_03 5:03

I'm not into drugs, my new friends. I've never even tried cocaine. It's expensive, makes you paranoid, screws up your life, puts you in therapy. It'd be like having another relationship. Plus, I'd be one of those rare cases of people that would die the first time he tried it. I'd be dead and I'd feel like an idiot. God would be lecturing me in purgatory. Should have disflamed a boo. I ran into somebody at your airport and he was so amazed. He's like, oh my God, this is amazing. What are the odds? What are the odds of us running into each other like this? What are the odds? I'm like, the odds are pretty good. We're at the airport. It's not like we're on dinghies in the middle of the ocean. Like, oh my god, what a small world. I'm like, no, it's a small airport. Saw you at the bar ten minutes ago. You never run into anybody you want to run into, like your wife or your brother. Your wife and your brother. Oh my god, you're both going to Hawaii? What are the odds? I flew coach on this trip. I went to the first class bathroom, the airline attendance stopped me. Can you believe that? This is for first class passengers only. You'll have to go back to coach. Back to coach! Back to coach. Yeah, I said, I paid four hundred bucks to get on this flight. I'll piss in the cockpit if I feel like it. What are you gonna do? Drop me off. They drop me off in Memphis. Four hundred dollars, they don't throw in a free movie anymore. That gets pretty stingy, don't you? Pretty soon a captain's gonna get on the horn. Psh, captain speaking. Everyone could Annie up a couple bucks for gas. We'll be out of here in no time. This captain would not shut up. Six hours the entire flight just on your left.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Trees on your right. Clouds and shit.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Someone just pissed in the cockpit.

SPEAKER_04 7:48

Drop him off in Memphis. Who's that chasing a squirrel down there with a shotgun? What kind of redneck is that?

SPEAKER_03 8:10

I jumped out of an airplane this year. I went skydiving. Everything they tell about skydiving isn't true. My friends are like, dude, it's not even scary. You'll be having so much fun when your shoot opens, you'll be disappointed. Oh shit. The greatest part of the entire experience was lying in the dirt crying afterwards. Is that a picture? You open the plane. No, that's me in the dirt weeping.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

Little vomit next to my head. Very proud of that shot.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

I flew tandem, this guy's attached to you. He's supposed to pull your shoot. My tandem guy was such an a-hole. I swear, 15,000 feet, the door to the airplane opens, he starts messing with me. All right, dude, you jump first, I'll catch up. No. Yeah, dude, only pusses jump together. Just jump, pus, come on, pus, jump, pus, come on, jump, pus, jump, pus, come on, puss. No. Everyone has jumped, even the captain's egging me on. Jump push. Birds are fine by. Never in my life have I wanted so badly for another man to strap himself to my back. All right, hop aboard, chemo Subby. Lock and load. Put some gravy on the turkey. The free fall is supposed to be real peaceful. Yeah, real peaceful. Do me a favor, go home. Stick a hairdryer in your eyeball. Pull your stomach out. Have somebody call you puss for half an hour. See how peaceful you feel. The shoot opens, these toggles hang down. He's like, pull the toggle, pus. Come on, pus. Pull it, pus, come on, pus. Pull it. I bet a hundred bucks for this guy to call me pus. I guess customer service doesn't mean a whole lot of 15,000 feet. What other job can you call the customers pus? You know, go to the car dealership, buy the Subaru. Puss. That's a strange sales tactic. We landed. I wasn't even relieved. Someone landed on a freeway a couple weeks earlier and got hit by a truck. Would that suck or what? Just jumped out of an airplane, risked your life, and survived, and then you died? Hit that landing, you're off cocky. Woo! Yes! Sky diving. Woo! Get out of the road, puss! Well, you guys have been a lot of fun tonight. I appreciate you coming out. I'll just leave you with this. I hope no one was offended by the show this evening. I guess political correctness thing's gotten out of hand, though. I just heard they are taking the stutter away from porky pig. Yeah, politically incorrect to stutter now. I don't know about you people. I I think it's pretty impressive the pig talks in the first place. Get off his back. Don't get to in the other cartoon characters. Does Popeye offend steroid users? Does Yosemite Sam offend gay people? I'm just playing with you. You guys look like you just lost your best friend. Yosemite Sam's gay? Shit. He was sprinting out to his truck to pull off his mud flaps. Hey, thanks for having me. That's been my time. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Scott Edwards 12:31

That was Cash Levy live on stage. Man, he is such a funny young man. He has such a great way to not only interact with the audience, but share these funny stories in a very animated, comedic way that just so entertaining. I know you enjoyed Cash Levy Live on Stage. All right, as I promised, a terrific short set from a very funny guy. He's done a lot of TV, a few movies, and one of the best on stage. So sit back and enjoy some stand-up comedy by my good friend Tom McTeague.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Crazy. But women are different than we are, and I, you know, God bless them. I love them up one side and down the other. I just can't figure them out. They think differently than we think. And if you don't believe that, just go out to the pool here sometime this weekend and check out the books that are being read around the pool by Wednesday. They read books, and their books are all romance novels written by Danielle Steele. They're all about men in love. Faraway places and love. Sinewy muscles and love. Big broad shoulders and jungle cats! Where the hell are they coming over the names for the heroines of these books, Mike? It's like they're just throwing darts at stupid name boards. You owed. Vanderpeak. Vanderpeek knew that she loved Brick. She knew with all of her heart and soul as she saw him come towards her, caressing the dance floor as he moved. Their bodies intertwined in a love-locked embrace, and she could feel his throbbing manhood pressing against the fabric of her brand new Gucci gown. Vanderpink decided that this was the man for her, as he could probably make her come, come, come like no man ever had before. She coerced Brick into taking her back to his flat. Once there, they tore off their clothes and again did the man kept his dust her own tango of love, pushing, pounding, pushing, pounding. Her hand reached down and closed around his engorged manhood, guiding it into her own moist waiting femininity. In and out and in and out. Vanderpink felt herself on the brink of a tumultuous volcanic eruption of love when a laugh. Far too soon she felt Brick's manhood soften. Brick had a limp one and he was shitty in bed. Vanderpeek was furious, so she stabbed Rick repeatedly with the butter knife and ran away to South America with Raul the fisherman. Chapter 2. I was only gonna do one chapter, but I'm sensing you guys are just. Come on, baby chick-ding! The small dinghy bobbed perilously upon the bright blue Caribbean Sea and the hot, hot tropical sun beat against their bronzed and oily glistening bodies. When they moved them together, they made a soft little party noise. Vanderpeek road roll as a stallion upon the waves. His hot musky man likes and filled the boat. His mouth was on hers, he thrust his tongue down her throat, to which Vanderpeek replied. She ran her porcelain skin fingers now, Raoul's rippling torso and thought, Raul has ridges. And as she gazed into his steel, grey, fiery eyes of passion, she was surprised yet somewhat frightened when Raul said, Can I put my finger in your butt? The N. Hey, listen, you guys enjoy the rest of the time here. Thank you so very much for yours.

Scott Edwards 17:04

Tom McTeague and I That was Tom McTeague doing a short set live on stage. He has such a way using his voice to tell stories and do comedy that just makes it so entertaining for the audiences. Hey, uh, thanks for joining us on the podcast. This week we had Cash Levy and Tom McTeague, two of our club regulars, two of our favorites, and I know you had as much fun as I did. Hey, we'll be back next week with one of our interviews. So if you get a chance, tell your friends, tell your family, come on back to the podcast, and we'll see you next time. Bye.

Announcer 17:41

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Stand Up Comedy, your host and MC. For information on the show, merchandise, and our sponsors, or to send comments to Scott, visit our website at www.standupyourhost and mc.com. Look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand up comedy. Visit a comedy showroom near you.